Ascent into Chaos

“The All is mind; the Universe is mental.” (The Kybalion; 1st Principle – The Principle of Mentalism)

I am grateful for this place where I can write what is meaningful for me to express. In reading what I write, I become able to detect what had remained hidden to my own discernment. I do not write to reveal – I write to discover what remains hidden.

Writing is usually easy for me – not because I seek to define answers but because I am taken captive by a line of enquiry. In that moment of deep curiosity, I have an awareness of a flow. Yet, in this moment, I am drawn to write despite the absence of that flow. This effort feels halting and jagged as without that flow I am faced with seemingly disparate chunks of information without evident sequence… like myriad beads strewn on a table waiting to be strung to reveal the grace of their hidden symmetry. However, in the absence of any sense of that flow, the chunks just sit there… a reminder of a heaviness and density that has become unfamiliar to me. In their deep gravity-well of disconnected thought, they will not be coaxed into their usual easy morphing to a liquifying … and meandering… allowing the boundaries of each chunk to dissolve and their inner truth to intermingle effortlessly with that of another. In the dissolution of those boundaries, some new underlying and unseen progression makes sense of it all. Yet, not this time. They remain leaden chunks in isolation of each other… present yet seemingly inert. And still, I know intuitively that they fit together.

I have long been a voracious reader of many varied and seemingly disconnected things. Never an expert in any one thing, I have always been drawn to discover the larger context within which these varied and apparently separate things might intelligently co-exist; always seeking to have a glimpse into what the larger puzzle might be of which all of these are legitimately a relevant and potentially significant part. In this moment, I have come to hold a lot of pieces of an as-yet undefined puzzle and can recognize when a piece belongs even when I remain unsure as to its structure and sequence. I don’t always immediately know where it goes but instinct tells me it belongs, part of a coherent whole whose shape is seeking to emerge. Everything moves at the same time, with the movement itself being the force of resolution. As a piece presents, the puzzle reveals more of itself… and in so doing, defines another piece. And so it goes. To take joy in such a moment, one must learn to trust the undeclared puzzle, the chunks and the natural intelligence that guides their assembly. I have come to find delight in holding the Space for its emergence and bearing witness. In the creation of this new song, I know that I am never notes but the empty space between them.

In the absence of this deep trust of Self and the Self of other, our go-to response is fear. An inculcation from much earlier years and the lasting imprint of the parent/child model for living, that fear reveals itself to be the trance induction that shocks the medium (i.e. the fabric of space/time) of our safe and stable lives…ensuring that in the forced moment of being ripped from our illusion of safety and stability, we become malleable as we are pulled outside of ourselves. The shock to the medium of our existence rips us from the familiar, the trusted, the expected and the relied upon to be set adrift in a vast ocean of unpredictability. In that moment, although I may not know what the answer is…. what the antidote to that pervasive fear might be…. I do know what it is not: simply complying with the directives of another will not take us where we want to go. I know that I need to be willing to keep informing myself; keep exploring and testing things; and to always trust my own internal cues and make my choices from that. I know I must look (Choice Point) up, great as the temptation might be to look down and focus my gaze on all that is coming apart.

“He who can destroy a thing, can control a thing.” (Frank Herbert)

In this place, at this time, confusion is pervasive and penetrating. After a lifetime of relentless conditioning into a deep and unquestioning trust of authority as represented by parents, school, the church, government, main-stream media, academics and degreed experts (and having equally taught our children, with great gusto, to do the same!) – we now find ourselves in a place where it has become evident that something is not right. We may not be able to put our finger on the specifics of it and nonetheless, something feels ‘off’. In the absence of the sound of approaching thundering hooves, we must accept that no one is arriving to rescue us… to fix it for us… and we must now very quickly discover what it means to think for ourselves.

So much of what we have been taught as real and worthy of our unquestioning devotion is unveiling itself to be, at best, illusion and at worst, intentional deception. In the moment of this realization and its implications, chaos begins to cloud the mind.

Our willingness to embrace the chaos within ourselves is the first step to the creation of a meaningful life – and it is an acquired skill. It is an enormous challenge for most of us, given that we are trained to think of chaos as something that we fall into… are dragged down and through… when in truth, the first thing that chaos is designed to do is to cloud the mind. We are not descending into chaos – chaos is descending into us. Were we to choose to rise (Choice Point) up and into the chaos, we would soon recognize that it is cloud cover… designed to allow intentions and agendas to be hidden behind it. As we choose to ascend up and into the chaos, we gain clarity in the ability to free our mind from the veil that prevents us from seeing the ‘more’ that is there – should we choose to look.

We are trained into a belief that we descend into chaos when in truth, chaos is intended to descend into mind and shock the medium – shock the tapestry of our reality – and pull us away from any depth of connection to our inner truth. Chaos is intended to install deep fear and tear us from our sense of stability and safety in the life that has become familiar and desirable to us. In the assault on matter, we are pressed to the edge of our physical survival (or at least, we believe this to be so) and abandon any higher-order considerations as we surrender the power of mind to the expediency of stability of matter.

“Without change, something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.” (Frank Herbert)

One thing has become clear: no one has the big picture, the answer to our concerns, the strategy to follow. Through my lifetime of challenging moments and bumpy roads, I have learned never to surrender dominion of my Self to the presumption that another is acting in my best interest. I have also learned that I can safely presume that if I am acting in my own best interest – if I am engaging in a way that feels meaningful and authentic to my wellbeing – moving through discovery with a willingness to open my mind to new information… different information.. new insights will bubble up. Were we all to do this collectively, it would form a direction taken, without being given a mandate by another to follow any specific direction defined by that other. Like the chunks informing the emergence of the puzzle and the puzzle informing the legitimacy of the chunks: it is a dance – not a directive.

In these times, we are not going to find answers; we’re not going to find the absolutes that give us a sense of certainty. What we are always going to have access to are insights, if we allow them to surface into our conscious awareness. We’re going to have moments of internal expression that land in alignment and from there we go looking for the next insight. And in the meantime, we can live in a way that is meaningful for each of us. We must surrender our conditioned tendency to look for big directives from an outside authority that will allow the majority of us to simply surrender and follow. In that moment, we abandon our own LeaderSelf to the rhetoric of another to whom we raise up the offering of our compliant Being.

We are now living in a time where our own internal cues must have greater weight since there is so much intentional deception; so many lies and betrayals presented as acts of generosity and support. Lies, lies and more lies. Only your body can be trusted to tell you what will support your evolution.

Through it all, the influence of that deeply entrenched parent/child model cannot be ignored. We can now plainly see how challenging it is for us to turn away from authority as the last word; how uncomfortable and foreign the sensation to think for ourselves rather than wait to be directed on what to think. What we’re up against right now, is an environment incredibly steeped in fear, as the force of induction… as the trance induction… for shocking of the familiar medium. Shocking the structure of our reality and causing fear and uncertainty, makes us more vulnerable to and ready to embrace the imposition of something different chosen for us.

“The beginning of knowledge is the discovery of something we do not understand.” (Frank Herbert)

It is a scary moment when you look around and realize that you are the adult in the room; that there is no one to whom you can abdicate the responsibility for your own life. It’s like realizing at some point in your life that your parents really don’t know what’s best for you and you don’t know either. For many, that’s the point where we make a decision to abdicate and pretend that our parents know, and allow their truth to continue to define our own. The alternative is that we have to face the messy bits of simply taking ownership of the responsibility for our own life and dive into figuring it out. And we do figure it out as we go. We try stuff. We change our mind. We make mistakes and we learn from them. We make a choice, live it, learn from it and move on to a different choice. But the power lies in knowing that it’s all up to us. When it works and when it doesn’t – it’s still all up to each of us to create.

Some months ago, I was surprised and delighted to discover that Carleton University (Ottawa) had been given a significant sum to establish a Chair to explore the conjuring arts. Yup – you read that right! The conjuring arts… as in magic. “How do you build enough momentum to make people see things in a different way? Which is exactly the same as happens when a magician is doing a conjuring trick.” The idea is to begin to pay attention to what allows our thoughts and choices – our structures of mind – to take shape and be influenced in some way. In my reality, those structures of magic also include the concept in alchemy of shocking the medium. You introduce into a stable state that which destabilizes and in that state of destabilization, you introduce something else. (For those of you who know The CODE Model™, this can take place at any of the seven levels, remembering that there are 7 levels within each level. At the lower levels, the shocking of the medium is intended to alter the physical; and at higher orders of thinking, it is intended to directly or indirectly alter structures of Identity and Self.) I know how that works, having embraced the power of its magic over decades in the program room. In that environment, the intended outcome is the shocking of the medium of the status-quo mindset to be able to entertain new thought. In the domain of hypnosis, it is the equivalent of breaking an existing trance to redirect to a new and more life-giving trance. Perhaps the greatest disservice done to us (so far) is to train us to believe we are not magical. Children know they are magical and have a deep belief in the power of magic. We would do well to revisit that long-buried truth in our own lives.

Shocking of the medium is a process that is happening all the time. It is neither good/bad, right/wrong… and it is exceedingly powerful at restructuring ‘reality’, particularly when the process is invisible to those who are most affected. What I’m talking about here is shocking of the medium being used with intention to quickly and significantly reduce or eliminate our capacity to choose meaningfully for ourselves. The intended outcome is to seed the willingness to be compliant with the desired outcomes of another; the willingness to allow one reality (ours) to be replaced by another (theirs).

Think of our reality as a structure that emerges from the Field of the All that sources matter. The state of the Field is what allows an emerging structure to hold its boundaries and be sustainable. This idea of shocking the medium is like a pulse of energy and information that moves through the Field, bringing new information into the Field and affecting the boundaries of the structures of ‘reality’. Depending on the nature of this pulse, it can change the existing structure of what is presenting and how it is presenting it. (As above, so below: Like a virus is a packet of DNA that enters into the system and introduces its DNA instructions to replicate itself and in that replication is an insult to the current structure of the field, altering the field of the internal structure of the body. Interesting to note that some are not affected by this.) The important thing to pay attention to and remember is that shocking of the medium can occur at all logical levels. It can occur at E/B level, for example, if they were to alter the course of a river and in so doing they flood out a town or a village. That is a shocking of the medium of that particular collective. It can happen at higher orders of thinking – like the level of BVA’s… and for anyone who has gone through Decloaking and Engaging 5-day intensives, that’s what happens. And then there is the pulse that goes through the field and you have a shocking of the medium that is generalized to a global population and awakens the population to a particular incursion into a structure of reality. And then there is the shocking of the medium that seeks to separate an individual from communication with their Self and seeks to alter Identity; and to pave the way for behaviours , B/V/A’s – whatever it may be – that are in contravention with the structures of their core identity. Fascinating area of exploration, actually….

In shocking the medium, there are degrees of separation. Surprise, as the introduction of the unexpected, will produce one level of pliability. Terror will shock the medium and produce quite another. In today’s reality, the global shut-down has introduced massive and frightening change as many become incapable of feeding themselves or their children; as food supplies are increasingly challenged; as housing is put at risk… and the list goes on. The seeping darkness into state-of-mind is expanding its mind-share. Fear is the mind killer. For those who know The CODE Model™, shocking the medium occurs at multiple levels of thinking, from something as simple as a detour on a travel plan to something at higher levels of thinking that actually can be soul-destroying and collapse identity.

The more the defined, replacement intentions deviate from the core of your Being, the more powerful and resonant the shock must be. To cause you to act against your own deep internal truth, the level of shock must alter your identity . An incursion into the Field that alter’s Essential Being will require a degree of sustained aggression against that innate structure of Self; expressed violently and over an extended period of time. Look familiar?

Shocking of the system need not be Soul destroying and it will separate you from an existing reality and prepare the ground to implant a different one. It all depends on you.

Social creatures that we are, the imposed isolation is intended to increase our desperation to be with others and thus, become willing to do what is requested of us to attain that gratification.. Compliance with any imposed demand is the desired outcome. We would be wise to use this time to explore and discover the strength of our connection to our own mind… and to seek to deepen and strengthen that connection.

If you have an understanding of 7 logical levels with 7 levels in each level, you can begin to notice where shocking the medium is occurring at so many different levels of the culture, at different times, and how they are all threads in the same tapestry of intention. When you become able to notice the incursions, you can also begin to recognize patterns and that this process is not random. It is intentional and has a direction. Key is: what is the force of intention behind this shocking of the medium?

We are vulnerable and susceptible to having the field of our structure of reality shocked because we believe ourselves to not be magical; that we have no capacity to resist or create other than the outcome intended from that experience. Yet, we are magical! WE can be masters of our own internal states! WE can be in the world of ‘the ALL is mind’ and can be awakened mind… intentional mind…. and not be ignorant and at the mercy of the magic of others; at the mercy of the spells that they may seek to cast and in so doing, conjure a new reality for us all!

At this time in our collective reality, shocking the medium is global. The fear is global and deep. The entire world is being shocked with a wave of fear, opening up a space within which to pour a new ’truth’ to appease a destabilized and desperate population. And I am reminded of Frank Herbert’s ‘Dune’: fear really is the mind killer. If the All is mind, and fear is the mind-killer, our current global situation is evidence of a desire to ensure we hold ourselves to be powerless. We are now faced with a choice: allow the fear to shut down our own unique mind or take a breath and reclaim dominion in our own lives.

This quarantine is rooted in fear. That fear is encouraging separation and isolation and in that separation and isolation the resulting sense of disconnection makes us more desperate to seek connection of any kind. As we seek to find ways to mitigate the fear, we find ways to distract ourselves. We would be wiser to take this time to embrace an exploration of our own mind; to allow ourselves to become explorers of our own deep and hidden thoughts, that we might take ownership of them and free more of ourselves into the formula of living a meaningful life. Just how capable are we of thinking for ourselves? How much remains of our capacity to think for ourselves; our willingness to be the adult in the room; to be the adult in the shaping of our own lives?

“Deep in the human unconscious is a pervasive need for a logical universe that makes sense.
But the real universe is always one step beyond logic.” (Frank Herbert)

How disturbed are we willing to be? How disrupted from our own historical and habituated thought are we able to tolerate without losing ourselves? How do we not lose ourself in the shocking of the medium?

In Victor Frnakle’s ‘Man’s Search for Meaning’, he postulates that what we are being pressed into is to either abandon all sense of meaning or to search for it in our own lives and take hold of it and pursue its expression. As a child, meaning lives in allowing yourself to be directed.. trusting that someone else with your great care in mind will set that direction for you . To be an adult is to bring that care to your own wellbeing and to set your own path.

So, there you have it. Such are the chunks that remain bound in their separation … the things that just won’t leave me alone. They present and re-present, leaving me mindful that until I engage them, they will not go away. It is only in engaging them, that they will come to identify the greater whole they represent. It is only in engaging the pieces that I will come to recognize the greater whole they represent.

I have no direct, personal and intimate experience of COVID-19. Like the rest of the global population, I only “know’ what I choose to believe. I only know (what some source that I choose to trust, tells) the story that I am willing to believe. And how many people am I willing to listen to; and whether or not I am willing to accept that I do not know; and have the right to change my mind. As I watch and listen, this little voice in the back of my own mind reminds me: beware of wolves in sheep’s clothing. Beware of what hides in the chaos. Beware of letting go of your own mind in the surrender to the mind of another represented through their ‘facts’.

Here is what I do have direct, personal and intimate experience of after decades of fully engaging my own life and in the lives of others: Our hope for change lies in becoming relentlessly, unapologetically and ruthlessly masterful of our own internal states. It lies in choosing from those internal states because they are the right choices to make for our own wellbeing and not because they are the easy or convenient choices. We make those choices not because they are the ones that will have others agree with us and applaud our actions but because we recognize them as being the imperative in our own lives. We cannot fight what exists outside of us – we can only grow and nurture what lives inside of us and allow it to redefine our reality.

The opportunity beckons for us to dare to allow our inner cues to free us from habits of mind, that we might dare entertain something else. All is mind… and fear is the mind killer. As we lift ourselves out of our own fear, and we begin to consider what else enters our mind, we have chosen to expand our reality and reclaim our birthright to design it.

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone, there will be nothing. Only I will remain.” (Frank Herbert)

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NOTE: For women who seek a deeper understanding of and connection with their own structures of mind, visit Naomi Irons and  Deb Gleason for an upcoming seven-week, online exploration.