Good morning!
Day 9: the penultimate, in this journey of inner exploration. We are almost complete, ever mindful that we can begin anew anytime we choose. There is never an end – only pauses along the way to live out discoveries and re-awaken the desire for yet another deep dive into the unclaimed possibilities.
How does it go? The purported Chinese curse says, “May you live in interesting times.” And indeed, we do.
I was 12 during the Cuban missile crisis. My parents were away and I was in the care of our neighbour who was highly positioned within the RCMP and assured me that in the event of a nuclear strike, they would take me with them to their scheduled shelter; leaving me wondering if my parents would die.
In 2008, the world came to its knees, reeling from an economic blow (engineered, I might add) that reverberated around the globe. Millions lost their home, their ability to earn, their marriage, their children…. and still, it would seem we learned little and had even less accountability.
The first, a threat to life – and the ability to sustain life – in all its forms. The second, an attack on the economic structures of the globe leaving little doubt of the interconnectivity of it all.
Today, we live at a time when these levels of fragility continue to exist; and we can now add to those, the in-progress collapse of our biosphere – the bubble of our very existence. That, is unprecedented in my lifetime and in recorded history. That, can bring the ultimate end to life as we know it.
We have historical (archeological and geological) evidence that points to catastrophic events in our not-so-distant (11,500 years) past. Other than the reference to the extinction of the dinosaurs some 66 million years ago, rarely do we hear of our planet being part of such events. We are led to believe that change is evolutionary, leaving us time to anticipate and adapt; leaving us (human beings) with the impression that whatever comes, we’ll take care of it before it takes care of us.
Today, I am so mindful that the game has changed.
Once upon a time, the whole point of our existence was to grow up, get an education and get a job. Once accomplished, the next layer kicked in: the layer of our ability to acquire and consume. With one’s value measured by the size of a paycheque, the money earned by virtue of success was now engaged in the game of getting stuff. The more stuff you get, the more evident (to you and others) your success becomes. From there, you expand by getting married and having children…. and in so doing, increase your consumption capacity. Live and repeat.
Now, it would appear, the game has changed. Our world is becoming unrecognizable at so many levels. So evident is this penetrating change becoming, we now struggle to find ways to numb ourselves to its markers; seeking to find ways to cling to plausible deniability of the looming and inevitable outcomes.
To date, this new game seems to be without name. Leaves me wondering: who gets to name the game and design its play game?
Some say that it is the International Banksters… inventing money that we borrow and pay real interest on. With the click of a key in a digital world, we find ourselves increasingly in debt (to pay for our bottomless pit of consumption), becoming enslaved to that debt and living a life of servitude in its shadow.
Others say that it is Mr. Global… a way of recognizing the power of the corporate entity more powerful than any nation state. These entities create agreements and lobby for legislation that allow them to ultimately be the final say in denying anything (including human rights and sovereign governments) that gets in their way of generating wealth for themselves.
And yet others believe that we are under the control of alien races (yes, plural) that see us only as beasts of burden – resources to be applied and consumed – to meet whatever need presents. The field of exopolitics is gaining strength and credibility.
And those represent only three of the many ideas proffered by those who are seeking to figure out what the hell is happening to us!
Something is going on. Although some attribute our experience of evident and continuing shifts in our climate to global warming due to human-induced increasing carbon emissions, others believe that the changes we are experiencing on Earth are no different from significant changes being observed in the larger solar system. The place we call home – Earth – is not the only celestial body being affected. Murmurs of the incoming planetary system of Nibiru – referenced in ancient texts as a regular part of our solar system – are met with mockery and shrugged off as impossible. Its extended orbit ensures that our earthling memories can only be captured through artifact as we have yet to find a planetary resident who lives long enough to have personally witnessed its arrival (on a 3600-year orbit).
The resources of our planet (water, minerals, any and all organic matter including plant foods, etc) are being harvested at a rate that points to a level of frantic and obsessive extraction. Human beings – men, women and children – are trafficked around the world to be used and abused as objects of gratification to satiate the obsessions and greed of others. We are distracted from noticing, since our focus is pulled to witness the unbearable destruction of human life and property that is in chaotic unfolding through conflicts of varying ’styles’ and degrees, around the globe. With relief, we welcome the mesmerizing and mind-numbing effects of TV, drugs, alcohol… myriad forms of consumption…. that make it possible for us to look away and disconnect ourselves from ourselves; that we might disconnect ourselves from all that swirls around us.
Some, are aware of these and many others threads, all of the time. And others, glance away from their distractions and catch a glimpse of it all…. choosing to quickly look back to their preoccupation and hope for another day. Either way, something is going on… with such ferocity and voracity that we now struggle to maintain the illusion that all is well and it’s just another glitch in our precious matrix of normalcy; and we will find our way through.
I’m no longer so sure about that. It would appear the end-game may not yet be identifiable but it is becoming discernible.
I share these thoughts not to incite debate about their content but as a platform from which to consider (one of the many) insightful observations from Einstein: The problems of today cannot be resolved at the same level of thinking that created them. I would go further and suggest that our reality cannot be altered through the same level of consciousness of our Being, as that which has manifested the current one. It is not our strategies that must change – it is who we are, as Strategist, that much change.
The density and intensity of the vortex of change in our ‘reality’ is increasing. It is becoming more and more difficult to ignore, to look away, to pretend, as we are sucked into that vortex; moving so quickly that we do not wonder where we’re going but end up questioning where we’ve been. Blink… and we’ll miss it! It is becoming a greater and deeper challenge to our expectations, peace of mind and hope for the future of our children.
There was a time, now long ago, when I looked at the world through my human eyes and longed to find my godSource Self. Perhaps, I believed, if I learned enough and struggled enough and was fortunate enough, I would reach up and connect with that godSource in a meaningful way. Now, I see through very different eyes. Rather than look up and believe that mine is to struggle to reach and attain, I now choose to see through godSource eyes and know that the I AM that I am, is already the Creator of it all. In my world of illusions, the ones I create will always shape my life. What I choose, manifests. And who I believe myself to be at the moment of my choosing determines my limitations or lack thereof.
Internal referencing is key to navigating such change. Knowing that I can trust – without hesitation and without question – the inner guidance that speaks in the simple body response of yes, no, turn left, stop, go! Without lengthy and detailed blah blah blah, my body knows exactly what I need to do; when I need to do it; and how to engage. I learned long ago: the body never lies. The question becomes: am I willing and able to hear its messages?
My view? I have no idea who’s designing the game. Truth be told, I really don’t care. I am wise enough to know that I will not the one to intercept the play should Mr. Global decide to make another pass. But I do know one thing for sure: no game can unfold without those willing to play.
Ultimately, we – you and I – feed the game and its outcome, based on our willingness to participate. Don’t like the game or its ending? Don’t play. Design another game. I know that I am not powerless in the living of my life, from one day to the next. The choices I make will always determine the quality of my life. Ultimately, collectively, we determine what the game becomes.
There’s a new wind blowing. Wind. Air. The element of the 4th chakra; the element intended to always be in movement, ensuring that our culturally conditioned beliefs, values and attitudes move…. and shift…. and morph to make way for a different truth and a new reality. Such is what is required to ensure our constant growth and evolution.
I am neither hopeless nor hopeful. Every day, I look out my window as I sip my early morning coffee and I am filled with gratitude…. for my life, the people in it and the joy in living it from one moment to the next. I simply am awake, aware and ready to own the truth of my experience, wherever that may lead me. For me, that will determine the path I carve out for myself.
Louise
Last night I read an article titled, “Wilderness land set to disappear from planet by 2100 as humans move in.”
It was heartbreaking, yet so familiar. The desecration of the Earth is relentless. There is no aspect of life on this planet that is not affected by human greed and destruction.
I read the article and feel a familiar deep grief. I know I’m one of few who feels this way.
The average human brain renders the information in the article obsolete. It does the math: “2100? Not in my lifetime. Not my problem.”
And therein lies the problem.
I keep thinking of the words I wrote in my essay:
“With a rapidly growing critical mass in a coma, our ecocide is rendering planet Earth uninhabitable. The planet cannot regenerate itself as quickly as industrial civilization is destroying it. Even the antiquated notion of linear Newtonian science brings with it alarming predictions. What Newtonian science fails to recognize however, is the organic, non-linear nature of Gaia. Gaia is a living organism, and linear scientific predictions just don’t work for the rapid acceleration we’re now experiencing. We’ve set off so many positive feedback loops that we’re officially on a runaway train to a greater hell than we’ve already created. As we free-fall over the cliff, we must realize that it’s far too late to apply the brakes. When the web of life breaks down, collapse accelerates and there is no certainty—no predictability.
Newtonian science speaks from a linear cause and effect worldview. If “x” continues to happen, then “y” will happen in 100 years they tell us. It always seems like a distant event that may or may not happen should we decide to curb our consumptive ways. We tend to face problems with facts, figures, statistics, extrapolations and rationale. We think that we can master the world with a three pound hunk of watery flab—our almighty brains—but this only serves to distance us from the source of our greatest potential and the place where we most need to go: our hearts.”
The average human being is too distracted by the daily minutae of the problems in their own lives to give much attention to the end of life on Earth. Either that, or they choose denial or the blind eye of ignorance.
2100 will arrive and there will be no life here to witness it. Of that I am certain. In fact, I’m certain it will happen long before then—in my lifetime. Science is so…80’s…so old school. The Earth is repeatedly proving that linear predictions are useless. The rational mind is antiquated and serves only to trap the collective in an intellectual inertia that silences a deeper inner knowing that it’s over.
There is no predicting Gaea’s ways. What arrogance to believe otherwise!
Soon, years won’t matter. Time won’t matter. Nothing of human importance will matter.
Journalist and activist, Chris Hedges once said, “A society that loses the capacity for the sacred, that lacks the power of human imagination, that cannot practice empathy, ultimately ensures its own destruction.”
I feel sickened and ashamed by my species. Grief-stricken over what we’ve collectively done. There is no longer any way out of this disaster, and to believe so is to live in ignorant delusion or new-age fantasy.
I observe myself resisting the desire to self-edit in order to not cause despair within this group. And then I remember, this is MY whisper. This is MY truth. These are MY feelings.
We live in a self-edited world where very few speak their truth for fear of judgement. I will not be one of them.
As Louise wrote in her offering today, I’m reminded to bring it back to myself. That’s all I have left.
That’s all I’ve ever had…and for that I’m deeply grateful.
Deb
I’m terribly exhausted but with a sense of accomplishment: I spent the day training to be the master trainer for a program on food skills for communities. I teach a lot of food sovereignty workshops, run a community garden and teach first aid and emergency preparedness every time I can. My “real job, however, is being a career/life coach for a big non-profit.
Why I share this?
I have mixed feelings about these past nine days and Louise’s provocations. And I accept that, because that means I still own my own thoughts, feelings and awakening process, wherever it may take me. I’m not easily “convinced” but I’m really curious and malleable in ways that preserve the essence but may show differences in the surface. A careful observer will know that through all my changes, it is always Silvia inside, and will always be, as long as I’m alive in this Earth.
I don’t feel contempt for others, I don’t like calling people “the masses” or “the crowd”. I don’t think my life is better or more righteous than that of others. I know I’m full of flaws and have made thousands of mistakes. It doesn’t embarrass me to say that I regret certain things I did in the past and I wish I had known better. But I carry my mistakes because they are mine and represent my own experience, my pain, my unmet needs, my ignorance, my arrogance, my naïveté.
I’m not afraid of dying, even when I’m not necessarily asking for it to happen anytime soon or to anyone I care about. But I have a peace I carry inside that has nothing to do with any of the organized religions or ideas of “God”. It has to do with a deep understanding of Gaia’s processes and cycles. Knowing that this body and this mind of mine will be forming part of the soil and eventually return through million pieces to become alive again in the cell of a worm, a leaf, a mushroom or a rock make me immensely happy and peaceful when I think about death.
The world? I have not only learned “the facts” but also perceived the impacts in a systemic way that would take too much to write about. I know everything changes and “dies” to become another thing, probably unknown to us or similar, if any of what we know now as “life” ever survives the destruction, pollution, erosion, consumption and abuse we have applied to every single system in this planet.
I don’t hate humankind: I think we made really bad choices, most of them out of ignorance, fear and even curiosity. Any animal on this planet enjoys and seeks comfort, and we are no different. Some long time ago, we allowed this “sub-race” of humans to create systems that hurt others and themselves, we separated ourselves from the rest of Gaia, thinking that because we have a “conscience”, we are somewhat different and superior, more evolved…those thinking that way (it is my humble opinion) are so arrogant that think we can somewhat survive without this physical world, that we transcend this realm, and that (for me) is the origin of all the pain…if we only accepted that we are part of this beauty, that the animals, plants, elements, all of them are intrinsically related to us and we to them. That in nature there are no hierarchies but co-operators, systemic relationships of mutual attraction and love. Not as the human “love” between two people, but the love that expresses the interdependence of the air and the nostrils and lungs that breathe it; the love between your thirst and the water, between your feeling of peace and the forest.
Yes, there are many things in this world that cause me deep pain. I’m fully aware of all what Louise mentioned in different posts about the fate of not only humans, but all the ecosystems and their beings. In my awareness I have gone through unbearable grief to love for those who inspire me with their acts. Their small and inconsequential acts, the acts that won’t change our fate but still matter, because today and in this moment and place, these acts matter.
I don’t know what keeps others from “doing the right thing” and I know it looks like nobody cares with the exception of a few who “got it” and changed their lives accordingly. What I know is what I see and feel everyday: people trapped by systems bigger than themselves: health issues, chronic conditions, choices made under pressure or when they were less “awake”, responsibility for others, fear of the unknown, fear to be rejected or isolated, not seeing a way out.
With some exceptions, I honestly can’t think people get into debt, gain weight or go into abusive relationships (to name a few of the things people do), on purpose. I think there are real reasons and once they see themselves in any of those states, they see no way out. For some there is, for others, may not be so easy or may not be a way out.
I have lived enough things and seen enough in my life to know this for sure. And I’ve seen people changing not because we turn our backs on them and accuse them to be lazy, stupid or whatever comes to our minds, but because we humbly show options, alternatives, the possible.
Derrick Jensen has a paragraph in his book that always resonates with me because it mirrors how I feel:
“The tears stopped soon enough. I realized we are not so outnumbered. We are not outnumbered at all. I looked closely, and saw one blade of wild grass, and another. I saw the sun reflecting bright off the needles of pine trees, and I heard the hum of flies. I saw ants walking single file file through the dust, and a spider crawling toward the corner of the ceiling. I knew in that moment, as I’ve known ever since, that it is no longer possible to be lonely, that every creature on earth is pulling in the direction of life – every grasshopper, every struggling salmon, every unhatched chick, every cell of every blue whale – and it is only our own fear that sets us apart” ~ Derrick Jensen, A Language Older Than Words, The Safety of the Metaphor (p.75)
Unfortunately, he also expresses his hatred for humans and society. I understand where that hatred comes from but I cannot feel the same, I only feel pain and sometimes, despair. But then I look up to the clouds, to the mountains, to the water, to the sun and the stars and down to the forest, the trees, the animals…and know in my heart that whatever happens will happen and life will find a way to transform itself, even if it takes a trillion years, what’s that for Gaia? Just a long nap, nothing else…
Love to all,
Silvia
Ugh.
I am just letting the news of the LNG pipeline approval in Northern BC seep into my being. For some reason when the new cabinet members were sworn in I thought having an “Environment and Climate Change” Minister might actually mean something. Today I see it means nothing at all. Money wins. Only Money can win. Despair fills me in this moment thinking money is more important than spirit bears and rainforests, money is more important than people, the planet…everything.
Mistakenly I thought that we were reaching a tipping point in the media coverage of our dire state. I thought more people were taking a hard line and closer look at our predicament and actually speaking about it and writing about it. I have read SO many articles that say if we change our ways IMMEDIATELY we may be able to slow down the planetary cancer. Well it looks like we would prefer to pour liquified natural gas on it.
Each day of my life is filled with moments now. Discernible, energy filled moments. Some deplete me, some fill me. I don’t think it balances out in my favour any longer. A brisk walk in a beautiful rainforest at 7:30am that opened up to a clear cut field. A day shooting vegan TV with breaks where the crew talked about eating Cheetos chicken fries at Burger King. A drive past the ocean followed by news that we will use her to send fracked gas to foreign lands.
As the world turns, so does my stomach.
In this moment I don’t know if I have any tears left for Gaia. They have filled my face so many times my freckles are starting to melt.
I don’t know who or what is responsible for the madness playing out on the world stage but I gain a small clue when I watch the Clump Debate and saw two very asleep humans getting 90 minutes of some of the most viewed air time ever and then watching the world judge the shit out of both of them so we could declare a “winner”. There is no winner, we all lose for creating such a mockery of humanity.
How much more can the planet handle, I suspect not much more. How much more can humanity handle, I suspect very little as well. How will this bad novel end? I don’t know. I just know I am here to be part of this and I refuse to talk about Cheetos chicken fries. My reality is not that. I have to dig deeper to find the courage to keep creating at the highest level. That is warriors path and I know that is the only way for me.
Thanks,
Deb
Well – Day 9 – I planned to be here in this moment hours ago – and yet here I sit. Faced with an open page, after reading each of your emails. I hear you Louse, Deb, Deb, and Janice each and every aspect of my consciousness – and there are many waking hours that I too, and am knee deep in the sensation of all of what you speak of – as I own and experience the deep reality of the state of our biosphere – and the chaos on our planet.
I feel tired with the conversation – and I wonder if its a subtle Ignoring or am I wanting to deny the collective reality that is not working nor meaningful to me. As I allow my wonderment outside of me I recognize that it doesn’t seem quite right… I’ve been in it – steeped in the conversation, in taking action, owning my grief, sharing the realities with many that I know for at least a decade. The tiredness of this conversation is such a visceral presence – are we not there yet?
So here are some of my questions that popped into my awareness throughout my day:
Who do I become when I decouple my enmeshment with my current way of being? What are the same old tapes that keep giving you permission to have your justified rage? IS it working for you?
Are you willing and able to consider from a place of authenticity what you love, and remember that? As oppose to focusing on what is not present or collapsing?
Who do I become when I stand in a deep place of appreciation and deep knowing of moving forward, unbound by my limitations?
A good friend reminded me one day – that the Trees they still follow their original instruction…The fish still follow their original instructions, the birds still follow their original instruction. All life does – except the ‘human doings’.I think this is a beautiful reminder that we have the potential to re learn our intuition and who/ what we are – this can become a huge game changer from living an external world view to one that is deeply rooted a the inner core of each individual. Yet as we’ve all said this week… is it enough?
I just don’t know – I am willing to own that reality – yet I am not willing for that to be my soul context for manifesting my future. This little voice just said in my head ‘What Future?”
Where I am willing to invest my energy and attention at this time is my larger thought process that is emerging in terms of manifesting. And co-creations with those who know themselves as the visionaries, creators, edge works, pioneers, midwives, yoga practitioners and with those who are awakening. Awakening beyond just knowing it in their intellects yet ready and willing to dive into the plunge into the ‘HOW’ to live as a quantum biological being. I know this intention is so strong, as I own this at deeper levels of discovery – my holodeck is ignited with individuals waking up, willing to engage and I find myself educating in such a natural way the process of the WEL-Systems® context as I live it.
I am also willing to invest my intention and attention in being visible in the process of all that unfolds…the glorious upswings and the down hill rides.
In this moment – exhaustion seeps through my bones, my eyes are tired, I have a small story that ‘I should have created space earlier in the day blablabla) I’ve spent a number of hours not only in my own process today – yet being in the presence of others awakening, reminding them of who and what they are – and sharing the information I know about safety as an inside job. IT use to be confined to the program rooms in my life – yet now this call that awakens in another is so strong – that it happening in many places places I am creating my reality. This dance of individuals reclaiming their birthright never gets old – it is the birth of the soul in physical manifestation over and over again.
I believe access to this rebirth process- will be what perpetuates awakened individuals with not only the thought process for change, yet the safety and capacity to act – access to this information will support this new emerging world.
Maybe it is a false ‘sense hope’ – Deb O I am so aware of your writing around Hope a couple of days ago – so that word no longer adequalty captures what I want to say… yet for Now I will use Hope. I do have ‘hope’ that the tides are turning, with each awakening women – is it fast enough? I don’t know? Where will it end? When I/We say it is done.
That is the great mystery of it al. Nancy