Here I am on Day 10: The first day of the rest of my life.
I think of the completion of this cycle of enquiry as the end of a long, steady and deep inhalation… of my Self. Now, I pause… and in this continuing cycle… I enter into the long, slow and deep exhalation as I choose to live my life as an expression of the integration that now comes.
It has been a joy to be part of a journey with all of you that has been honing the edge of possibility. Every day, awakening and moving into the quiet moments to reflect and express. Every day, looking forward to receiving the same, from each of you. And every day, knowing that thoughts shared could and would, change lives.
For me, it is always much less about any particular outcome and more about the process of allowing the exploration – wherever it may lead – that results in living my life without fear. Too often, we press aside rather than embrace our most challenging thoughts, hoping that doing so will quell the agitation and bring peace of body and mind. Rarely is that outcome achieved by seeking to look away from what already has taken hold and pretend it is not so. In our world, we are taught to focus on the good and all else will fall away. In my decades of engaging with others, I have never seen that to be true.
There is no thought undeserving of my consideration. If it has entered the domain of my mind, the platform of my body is now its most effective ’thinker’.
Are we not amazing creatures, such that thoughts shared are sufficient to transform? Over these past 10 days, I see much evidence of that simple truth. Such a reality causes me to pause… and be mindful of my thoughts; and pay particular attention to those that I deem/dare to share. Perhaps it is in that moment of particular attention that I choose either to silence an inner truth and repeat what has always been, or to rise to the full measure of my Authentic Self and reveal. Either way, our impact cannot be avoided or negated. We matter. Every single one of us! Our very existence makes a difference. We are integral to it all and not some random strand of DNA that has entered the fray, in error.
Here’s what I have discovered about myself in this 10-day ‘Whispers from Within’ writing process. It is clear to me:
I am here to agitate.
I have no memory of ever being other than that as an expression of Being. Even in the innocence of having no intention, simply being my Self was agitating to those around me. So be it.
I am here to leave no conversation unengaged.
Whether it is one that is already occurring and into which I am invited or choose to insert mySelf; or if it is one that I must create to make a conversation possible, so be it. I will create the experiences that allow me to be my Self, fully throttle!
I am here to stay awake by awakening the Self in any and all who come into the sphere of my existence.
We are on a spaceship travelling at breakneck speed through the cosmos… and we – all of us, as its crew….must be awake and present. Right now, the vast majority of us are in a coma. How many will it take to navigate and ensure we reach some life-enhancing destination?
In this time with all of you, it has been a gift to profoundly relax into my agitation. Like a spice is intended to awaken the palette, so I am intended to awaken my/the Self. For that, I must be willing to be true to my Self; at all times. It’s easy for me to do when I free myself from any judgement with, around and about it. It becomes the visible and audible act of breathing in and breathing out…. free of the constraints that insist these be tiny and controlled and measured breaths…. stepping into my willingness for it all to be witnessed. Such is our world that we have become unwilling to allow another to hear us breathe.
Being part of this journey for the last 10 days – coupled with the reading and watching and listening that frame the passage of my days, every day – I now know things….have language/content for things… that on Day 1 were more like a rising mist than anything I could name. Now, it is different for me.
There are some discoveries that have served me well for many years. I share them here, more as a reminder to my Self than for any other purpose.
There are no absolutes… no things that stand alone in isolation of anything else. Everything is relative to every other thing; and all of it is nonetheless part of the same expression of Life… of Being. That we do not recognize it does not make it any less all an expression of the same Whole. The context we claim for ourselves will dictate how we interpret that relativity.
After turning eyes in to my Self for these last 10 days, I now come to a close of a cycle that will call to me to turn eyes outwardly, to other than Self. Doing so allows me to now test drive my discoveries. It also allows me to now begin to pay attention to the degree to which the conversations I am having ‘outside’ with others match the ones that I am having ‘inside’, with my Self. The great force to manifest and create lies in their alignment. The greater the alignment, the more quickly the manifestation occurs.
Perspective frames selection. The bigger my perspective, the more expansive and ’tactile’ my choices become; the more able a choice becomes to touch and affect something else. In my courage to reveal, Life gains momentum in the power of contagion. Life is a virus that can be of the greatest virulence, if I allow it to be so. I have often intentionally chosen that my perspective remains small to ensure that my range of resulting choices is small, allowing for a sense of control; for a sense of incremental discovery/growth/change. In those moments, I have lost my capacity to trust in the majesty of who I am intended to be.
It has long and often been said : “The point of power is in the present.” For me to know that… in the very tissue of my being… I must live it. Staying in the now will, without doubt or hesitation, produce physical sensations in the body. Choosing to invite and allow them; choosing to relax, open and make way for the wave of intelligence that is seeking to communicate, will change my life… and my world. This requires that I come to trust my own inner cues…and allow them to lead, without words, without content, without collusion or agreement from any other. In that moment of the ’now’, I stand alone.
The voice in my head says:
* DARE to press against your own conventions; against your own untested ’truths’, absorbed from others rather than claimed in the Fire of your own discovery.
* RISK being wrong; not knowing; not fitting in; being dismissed, isolated, mocked, ridiculed. Staying within the domain of acceptance by others may bring momentary comfort and it is like pushing the delete button on your unique expression of Self; on your curiosity and your willingness to engage authentically.
* INVITE and ALLOW: Embrace it all and hold to nothing! Like water through a screen door, allow what draws your attention to move through you and awaken more of the fullness of who you are.
Dare. Risk. Invite. Allow. These will combine to create the Space that is essential for our evolution; will propel the Movement from within that redefines who we are willing to become; and will create the Flow of Being that is required to manifest from the very core.
For me, at the age of 66, I know that it is about the joy of Being. Whatever unfolds around me, there is always a place for me to stand that invites that reclamation of Self to bring that great joy of Being. It does not mean that I am without doubts; that there are not tears, rage and grief. As I invite and allow all to be in flow within the device of my body, the wave informs the moment… and I become more. The body becomes still… and from that ensuing peace, comes joy.
Thank you all for being part of this 10-day process, whatever path you have chosen for yourSelf. I believe that this process awakens; and I believe that for any who may choose to engage, their lives will transform.
Each of you is essential to our shared reality.
With deep RIG and much aloha,