Guest Post : Lisa LeBrun – Embracing All of Me

It takes all of us to weave a new tapestry of Being that can bring warmth and comfort to an often fragile and tentative emergence of Self.  And for us all: yet another authentic and strong Voice of emergent Being.

You can connect with Lisa directly at: lisalebrun17@gmail.com

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I woke this a.m. feeling much movement.  This is what came as I chose to embrace it in writing. It was strange, it seemed to flow without thought on my part, coming from somewhere deeper than I had ever experienced before.

I am where I am, and it’s in embracing all of me that life force will flow. A constant reminder to myself as I ride the waves of my internal landscape. As judgement and desire to be somewhere else arise, I take a breath and remember to accept and embrace all of myself as I do others.

The force that flows is inviting my life, not trying to destroy it.  As those words flow onto the page I am aware that embracing and accepting others was once much more present in my life, and the truth is that in more recent years I have been trying to change them as much as I have been trying to change myself. I had forgotten how to let anything in life flow. As I moved into the last birth process in my life my strategy shifted to control, and the me that embraced life and it’s magic, was buried in the process.

I have been trying to find myself by locking down and pushing away all of the life that moves in me, thinking if I could just get past it, something else will emerge. I know today that the emergence happens by stepping into the life moving in me; being with it, embracing it most fully in the moments where I want to tell myself a story, try to fix or direct my life, or simply stop feeling uncomfortable. This morning I chose to embrace me and what is presenting, by writing this message to myself.  I will never find myself by leaving myself, and in the depths of my most lost moments lies the potential for my deepest connection to Self, if I will just allow myself to trust the unknown and stay present.

My intellect knew that the way I was “managing” my life was not getting me where I wanted to go, yet the cultural conditioning was so strong to “figure out my life” that I continued for a long time trying to make it different.  I have a different understanding of that today within my body, as I continue to just be present to all that I am, in this moment.
Even though I can’t see the road yet, I know I am moving in a new direction. I can feel it. As I let each fear and story emerge and rumble, I relax into and trust it as an opportunity to create something else by owning and metabolizing it. Rather than it being a prediction of my unsafe future that I now need to find a way to figure out, avoid, control or stop, it now becomes the invitation for more of me to unfurl.

When a trusted knowing from a very deep place inside me ran my life, all that I desired flowed into my experience, easily . The challenge for me comes when I can’t see the path, and the woods are very dark. My body starts to vibrate, and the images and movies start to overload my experience. I now get to choose in that moment, how I interpret that message. If I decide the message is scary and the story has value, I abandon myself and get lost in the woods. If I choose to own the vibration as mine, allow my Self to expand and connect with the dark woods knowing it’s all me anyway, the light that I am will illuminate the path one step at a time.

The choosing of this happens one dark path at a time…yet I know as I walk , my confidence in my own vibration will grow and my reality will shift both internally and externally as more of me emerges. At one point I won’t notice the darkness so much, and the vibration will just become the invitation to open up to more and more of myself, as I create my own path.