Good morning!
It has been the longest 5 days of my life! 🙂 Great surges of insight! Deep undulations, reminiscent of those from so long ago. Churning and swirling and twisting….. constant movement of the Soul, as is to be expected when a Great Journey is undertaken. And in this moment, calm.
This is what it must be to enter into the eye of a hurricane. In this moment, a sense of stillness; a sense of relief from having made it to here. And an acute awareness that this too, will end and forward movement will resume. I will have to re-enter the churn. A moment to pause….to rest my fingers and Soul… and then, the choice to continue. I refuse to live my life going around in circles, even if that is in a vast and sheltered place where there are no disturbing winds. As has been said about ships: A ship is safest in the harbour – but that’s not what ships are designed and built for.
Where to begin….
Wide awake at 3:00 a.m. has become the marker for me of a rustling truth that will not be appeased: “Get up and get on with it!” In those moments, convention falls away and I follow the insistent prodding to act on impulse and not by the clock. Perhaps our deepest insights really do come at the darkest part of the night.
Two things have stood out for me, as these last few days have become the fuel for my own evolution.
First, the power of this process. I long ago lost count of the number of times I had the privilege of being part of a ‘Whispers from Within’ process. Before this experience, those were always private and always one-to-one. For whatever reason (perhaps The Call to my own evolution?), I decided to engage this process in a small collective of highly experienced (with this approach ) women; and then again, with a small group of women who included those who knew nothing of this approach. In both instances, the outcomes were compelling – for me and for them! This time, as a public offering, I am curious to discover where we will all end up. Given that the underpinning of this process is the recognition that every other who comes into my life is an expression of some aspect of my own consciousness, all of it is always all about me. Judgements of others are a waste of time, effort and Life-force.
Long ago, I believed mySelf to be a unique aspect of The Whole, expressing. I now know that I am The Whole, expressing uniquely. And so is each of you. Whether you are part of an email group with me or others; whether you are engaging one-to-one with me or any other; whether you are engaging in the privacy of your own mind or journal, at the level of the Whole, the expression of your Being is nonetheless relevant, present and potent. In that, we each matter – whether we see that, recognize that, claim that…or not. From the simple truth of your existence comes relevance. If you are here, you have impact.
Which leads me to my second thing…..
Like most others on this planet, I was taught that the I that I am stands separate from you. I live within the boundaries of my physical body. I am ‘in here’ and you are ‘out there’. I can claim my body and what lies within as ‘me’ and in so doing, relegate all else to the domain of ’not me’. I am not you. I am not that tree. I am not the ocean. Separation. Division. Exclusion. And now, I know none of that to be true.
My world…. my life… does not express as a binary system; does not express as the by-product of duality. I live along a continuum of expression. In truth, I AM that continuum, expressing.
In such a reality, the dualities of good/bad, right/wrong; the extremes of ‘in here’ and ‘out there’; the separation of matter/form from energy/intention cease to exist. Like my feet are connected to my head through the length of my body, so matter is connected to thought through the length of my perspective. Where I stand along the continuum of my existence (think 7 Logical Levels) will determine how and what I see/hear. Then, the further back I stand as I watch myself experience and express along the continuum (remember, I AM the Whole), the more expansive my capacity for choice. And in every breath, I choose.
I am not a unique aspect of the Whole, expressing. I AM the Whole, expressing uniquely.
I am not matter or energy; I am not form or intention, I am all of it. Where I stand along the continuum will determine how I choose to live.
My life is a metaphor, reflecting back to me the choices that I am making as a living godforce expressing in the realm of matter. Do I like what I’m creating? My physical reality – my body moving through a world of people, events and ’stuff’ – allows me to have tangible evidence of how and what my choices are creating. Whether I choose with mindful and conscious presence… or not!…,I have still chosen.
My body is a quantum biological device; a receiver/transmitter that allows the signal from Self to enter into and express in the domain of matter. What messages flow through me that are essential to the complete unfolding of my Being?
I know there is no waste in my precious and precise Universe. In that, purpose lies. What I hunger for is to find it.
From long ago, when first beginning these conversations in my little office on Metcalfe Street…. gathering a few friends for evening explorations, offered to them as an opportunity for them to discover quickly and inexpensively what it had taken me much to discern….. I always knew this was a pathway for me to find mySelf. That, has never changed. Every program; every coaching moment; every lunch conversation that turned into a four-hour, intense process of confrontation of Self…. not a single one was ever for or about anyone else. It has always been about me. My world. My search to find ways to face myself without running away. Creating an experience with another, as an aspect of my own consciousness, has never failed me. Bonus? Their lives changed, too. Essential to the creation of a new world is the willingness and ability of each individual to come to know themselves as Creator. In that, there is no room for the victim/perpetrator dance to find music.
I know that is powerful. What I also know is that without the inner enquiry; without that gnawing hunger rising up from the inner cues to be fed, a tasty snack will suffice… and sleep will once again overtake what might have become a potent expression of Being. Over these last 30 years, I have often wondered: What is it that causes the hunger in so many, to be so small? And in truth, in the great expansion of my own expression, does it really matter?
It does not matter to me, as an individual. I will always find a way to feed my hunger. (LOL… witness THIS conversation!) And I know I will always find others who seek to feed theirs and will allow me to join them… and it is still not enough. In a world that will shape the offspring of my offspring, it is not enough. So now, at this place in my life, perhaps my next enquiry becomes: how to awaken the perpetual hunger that will seek its own gratification?
Complacency is the great enemy of a Soul seeking to discover itSelf. That ability to delay (I”ll think about that tomorrow – I’m just too busy today.); to obstruct (I’m deeply committed but first, I need to find time to buy a new journal); to obfuscate (Before I can attend to this gnawing in my Soul, I have to figure out what’s wrong with everyone else.). And so it goes – and the deep dive into my own agitation is soothed in some acceptable fashion. The problem is: there is always something else to do. Someplace else to be. Some other distraction to attend to. Our world is intentionally designed to ensure that we are constantly distracted and overridden by something outside of us. I believe it is so because the alternative is world-altering… and too dangerous to be awakened on a global scale.
I am not one whose primary aim is to bring comfort. In fact, discomfort is the great enemy of complacency! And for that creation, I am well-designed.
For now, that is my inquiry.
Thanks for listening.
Louise
“Complacency is the great enemy of a Soul seeking to discover itSelf”
Yes, I hear this loud and clear.
It agitates me for two reasons:
1) I spend too much time thinking about OTHERS waking up. I look outside of myself and wonder, worry, ponder about the lives of the others I share this planet with. It is not useful to me, I do it anyway. I wonder what it will take, I worry it will never happen. I see so many complacent people around me, I see so much inertia. I feel blessed to naturally prefer momentum, movement, activation – is it natural or is it a choice? If it is a choice for me why do so many others not make this choice?
2) Why the hell do we have to discover our Souls when they are right here with us all the time. What a crazy design where we have to find something that is so obvious. Like being told there is an elephant in your bathroom one morning and walking into the bathroom and wondering where the elephant is. Without the ability to “see” the elephant we just brush our teeth and get on with the day wondering what this life is all about. Seems really silly to me right now.
If we were all just aware of the depth of our magnificence imagine the results.
And then I bring it back to me because as much as I want the entire human species to marvel at it’s greatness I can only take care of that in myself.
This is my third time doing this Whispers exercise and each time I am humbled by the insights others have been willing to share. In awe of the vulnerability and openness. This time the level of raw truth is exceptional and it has given me permission to share even more of myself.
Yesterday something fairly miraculous happened – not fun, not comfortable but profoundly life altering. I found myself engaged in a conversation with Deb that was just not flowing, it felt sticky and awkward and we were just not connecting in our usual way. I was really tired – deep fatigue from the work the day before on the cooking show how set it. We went around in circles a couple of times, both of us wanting to find smooth engagement and connection. Then when I was about to give up it suddenly occurred to me that I was running a storyline behind the scenes that had nothing to do with the reality of our shared experience. I could hear the story and I realized that it was like three people were talking. Me, my story and Deb. I had never given his story voice – until yesterday that is. So I reached in and pulled it out. Not easy, but I could sense it was important. My story was that being so tired was somehow not acceptable to her and she would prefer if I was just my usual upbeat, energetic self and that we should just not spend time together until I was “better”.
Taking that story out of my deep, dark internal basement and bringing it up to the light created instant connection between us, a wave of tears, freedom. Although I could hear the story playing I did not know what a profound impact it had on behaviour. It was all bullshit anyway, it was not how Deb felt, it was a wound from long ago. A wound that now has air, light, softness and can heal. I have held it for so long. How many other stories are circulating in the depths, holding me hostage to my parents and their wounds.
So I continue to marvel at this wonderful existence, this amazing opportunity to create the life I want to live. What surprises me the most is that it is always those moments where I dig deep and reveal myself that I feel the most growth and connection. I grew up thinking the opposite. Thank goodness for these conversations so I can see that vulnerability is power.
Much Love,
Deb
Day 6
Good afternoon everybody. I am actually enjoying the fact that there is
only one person participating in this writing project that I know
(personally). It is cool that she is here, and equally cool that more
people I know, are not.
I believe that I am a seeker, and that I always have been one. I remember
sitting on a bridge in Castlegar. I was ten years old. I grew up in highly
dysfunctional family (times?). I was the third of five children, born to a
young (most likely alcoholic) mother. My mom worked in the bar as a
cocktail waitress (I believe that’s what they were called back then). I
was in awe of her. She was beautiful; hair piled high in a bouffant; hot
pants in royal blue with faux leather trim on her shorts, and knee high
black ‘go-go’ boots. This was around 1972. And I was in love with her. I
wanted to be just like her…I got the chance to scratch that wish off my
list, sooner that I thought I would (learning that my sexuality was a
commodity that I could use to get my needs met).
So, I am sitting on that bridge, full of despair. My ‘grandpa’ (the
adopted sexual abuser/teacher, our AWOL mother chose to leave her four
young female children with) lay dying in a hospital bed across town. I
loved him. I needed love and care, and he was the only one that was there
for us, a lot of the time. I remember eating salty potatoes for dinner (I
HATED salty potatoes). We were dirt poor. Yeah, I ate spam sandwiches
(embarrassingly) out of stinky paper bags (I vaguely remember recycling
the bags…that could be why they got stinky?). There might have been a
Wagon Wheel in the bottom of that bag (if times were flush!). I fucking
hated Wagon Wheels. Anyway, I digress.
Out of an innate instinct I had to survive, I loved the man who abused me.
It is hard to admit. It actually turns my stomach to admit it, but it is
true. And worse yet, I don’t hate him today, either. He taught me all
sorts of things, and I learned to say “no” to men through learning to say
“no” to him. He never scared me. I know that must be hard for others to
fathom.
So, he was dying. And I was sitting on that bridge crying, and praying
that he would not die, so I would not have to be all alone in this scary
world.
Back then, I had a deep sense that the world was going to end. I cried a
river of tears for my little sisters…the ones that we (my eleven year
old, older sister and I) were, literally, raising. I believe that I have
been a mother since I was eight years old. I loved my little sisters. To
be honest, I am not sure I will ever love more than I did back then. And I
felt so deeply for them. I did not think they were going to get a chance
to grow up. This thought caused me immense pain and suffering. By the time
I was in my thirties, I had cried myself out of tears.
I would go through several more events like this, whenever the prophet de
jour would predict that the world was ending. Have I told you I am naïve?
I believed every one of those guys. I believe what you are saying today,
about extinction, too.
Then there was the year when I became a new mom, at the age of seventeen.
After, my mom (and others) shared that she had seen ghosts; I became
terrified of ghosts. I was afraid to go to sleep at night, and I had
canker sores all over my mouth, for over a year! I saw specialists, and
they had no idea how to treat me. It was psychosomatic. My mind was in a
permanent state of terror. I was making myself sick with my fears. Don’t
even get me started on the Mayan calendar, ending in 2012…ugh! Or, the
year that I watched An Inconvenient Truth. That was an exhausting year. I
guess I am a sensitive soul.
This man who I should have hated (this would be the socially expected way
for me to feel), but didn’t, was dying. Nostradamus had predicted the
world was ending. Later, I couldn’t get the last scene of Planet of the
Apes out of my mind. The scene where Cornelius’ wife (Zira?) sees the top
of the Statue of Liberty poking up from the sand. It was eerie
(understatement…terrorizing). All these years later, I still see (in my
mind) and feel the sadness of that one scene, profoundly. The world is
over. Civilization, as we know it, or don’t know it, is done for.
The taste of bile in my mouth, caused from my fear of extinction, rises up
once again, with this project (just being honest). And I am lamenting over
a time in my life that, perhaps, I should lie, and be in denial about,
instead. I feel like it is not okay to admit that I was sexually abused,
and yet I do not hate the perpetrator. I feel like I will be judged for
being honest. But, it is the fucking, God’s honest truth. I was grateful
for the man who had helped us survive.
This morning, as we drove, I spoke about the despair that this writing
project is bringing up for me. I explained to my husband (best friend)
that one of the things I have picked up from this group (right or wrong)
is that we (as a planet) are done for, and that to have ‘hope’ for any
kind of bright future is being naïve. But, I am naïve, and I am hopeful. I
know I will remain hopeful until there is nothing left for me to hope for.
And I have a list, as long as you can imagine, that I am hoping to
experience and changes that I am hoping, as a species, we will all get to
benefit from.
I have learned that my thoughts are powerful at manifesting whatever I am
choosing to entertain in my imagination. I have learned that nothing is
so, but our thoughts make them so. I have learned that with knowledge
comes responsibility; and that a done bun cannot be undone (I just like
that one); that I have the ability to re-frame my thinking, and from that
place, I have an opportunity to change the past; I can virtually time
travel…go back into the past, and see what was good about it, and create
my history from that place.
So this man is an example of that, for me. He caused me grief…true. But
he also protected me, cared for me, and contributed to my getting to be
where I am today. If I can forgive and love him, I can forgive and love
anyone. And so that is my goal. Oh, that, and to spread as much hope as I
can. Because, if we have nothing to hope for, we have nothing to live for.
Love and hope,
Jeanette
I feel compelled to write and I look at my clock and I know that sleep is imminent. In the morning, I will be facilitating an Introduction to 21st Century Huna™. It will be a one-day experience… and then some. That is all I know. Will I chant? Will I engage in the rituals of symbology and Ho-o Pono Pono and a Higher Self connection? Will I speak about the body as the temple that it is, the breathing space that it is, the quantum biological device that it is? These are what I plan… and, still, I know that the plan comes together when I let go of plan and all need to plan. So be it.
There will be 9 women, engaging; how cool is that?! I am one of them. These women have all, to a lesser or greater degree, stepped into prior WEL-Systems® based conversations. I listen and I get that they get the simplicity of the process and how it makes sense toward the actualization of a life of grace and authenticity. I also get, just how entrained, we are to our own collective defaults to forget. My intention, for myself, is to finally and fully let go of myself…. to allow the ancient space I know my Self to BE to own its own traction in my world; to allow the ancient space, that I AM, that awakens the sacred to finally show up in full force – no further denial, no further avoidance of my truth of that. Done with any and all historical references to expectation and performance. Done with measuring up. Done with plans and agenda and timing. Done with engaging only at the periphery of the forest. Done with hiding the full essence of whom I AM. Inviting and allowing the full resonance, not yet fully revealed, of the chant I know myself to BE. I have denied… and avoided… what I have known for far too long; I am ready to own the volume and amplitude, the cadence and rhythm, the tone and the timbre, the vibration and reverberation of my essential voice.
I wonder where I’ll be by the end of day, tomorrow… and then some?
I may or may not know you AND I’ll be thinking about you, as I choose to stay in the oli [ancient chant/prayer] that I AM in my world. In the word, there is life…
Sheila.
I’ve been deeply moved by the raw authenticity of this incredible group of women. So much of what is being shared is touching me on a soul level.
I was profoundly affected by Sheila’s post yesterday, and Nancy’s post a couple of days before (both on the blog). Both posts have been rumbling around in my consciousness…taking up a lot of space…bringing up so much for me.
I am deeply, deeply moved by their courage and willingness to explore their deeper truths regarding predation and violation. The one universal truth that we all share (and have forgotten as a species), is that we are all connected. Across all gender, race, age, and species barriers—which are nothing more than constructs of the human mind—there is no separation. As I wrote in my book, “We are autonomous expressions of a greater whole in an interconnected world” (or something along those lines), yet the world created by the collective is trapped in its own suffocating spiritual amnesia—an amnesia that allows for the carte-blanche destruction of life.
Nancy wrote, “…I’m mostly vegan within the last 2 months – totally not interested in milk, cheese or eggs – and its not because I’m creating a resistance against the meat industry. Its simple my body has changed. As it has changed over and over the last 7 years as I’ve engaged my body as the quantum processor. The topography has changed while owning and reclaiming my birthright to Wholeness. My body is ‘healthy, strong, and fit’ and I don’t even work at it. My mind active, alert and most days inspired. My spirit persistent, it is relentless and full of intention to bring my unique voice and invite, awake and lift others up wiling to do the same. When the next question came as to why vegan – I simply said I was done violating myself with my choices. I violate myself when the source of my food is a form of violation from another.”
Sheila wrote, “I work with bodies; I know them intimately; I know them intuitively. I no longer doubt the genius of the body as the Quantum Biological Processor of Information™ that it is. I know that it never lies. I have spent a lifetime dedicated to my own personal evolution. And, what I have come to realize is that, when I was choosing to eat meat and dairy, I was eating the energy signatures of predation. By so many other means and methods, I have spent a life-time, seeking to free myself of the signatures of predation I have felt in my own life, however, they presented. I would do the interventions, then sit down at the table with others to eat the animal flesh and by-products of predation. Plain and simple, I was robbing Peter to pay Paul; that is the very essence of living a bankrupt life. That strategy shows up everywhere, if we would only take a hard look. There is a Bob Dylan song called, I think, ‘You’ve got to pay somebody’ (Nathalie Cole sings a fantastic cover); well, we humans are paying big time. We have robbed Gaia and we have robbed all sentient beings of their inalienable right to LIVE free…and THAT includes ourselves.”
I read the entirety of these two posts and I was blown away…BLOWN AWAY!
I knew at 12 years old that I could not…WOULD NOT eat the rotting remains of sentient beings who wanted no more than I did: Love and Life. I was too young to know anything beyond that. It didn’t matter. My body told me that it had to end. And so it did. My love for animals and the natural world was my “Why”. Over the years, I’ve learned that there was so much more to that choice, especially with regards to the conditioned group-think of the status quo. I felt like such an outcast because of my sensitivity towards cruelty and injustice, and because I cared so much when few others did. My sensitivity and compassion were regarded as “fringe” and “weird”. None of that mattered however. I was solid in my truth despite how lonely and isolating it sometimes was.
I see more and more how there was so much more to that young choice through the powerful words of Nancy and Sheila.
When we are compassionate towards “others”, we are compassionate towards ourselves. This is unity…non-separation. In our willingness to connect on a deeper level with members of other species, we move closer to our own essence. How can it be otherwise?
Nancy’s words holds so true for me. We live in a world that is based on the violation of the feminine. The unfathomable cruelty inherent in the dairy and egg industries is the ultimate violation of the feminine…on such a monumental scale that it’s impossible to comprehend. These beautiful female beings are commoditized and brutalized beyond words. It brings tears to my eyes even thinking about it. This has been a huge pain point for me for most of my life. In making choices (conscious or unconscious) that perpetuate the violation of the feminine, we violate ourselves. No wonder patriarchy reigns supreme. Women are as much responsible for their own oppression with their lifestyle choices as they are in saying yes to abusive relationships. How can we possibly ingest such violation without expecting a negative outcome for ourselves…and for Gaea?
Sheila’s words about predation hit hard. They’re jarring. They hurt. I see the normalized predation around me every day and I cannot make sense of it. I made an easy choice (save for the resistance from my carnivorous father) long ago to starve the predator within. I know that I’m not perfect in our far-from-perfect industrialized civilization. I’m willing to challenge myself and my beliefs in order to live as close to my essence as humanly possible though. It hurts me to no end to know that just by virtue of being human, I’m causing harm. I aim to minimize this as much as I possibly can. It’s ongoing.
Our compassion for others is our compassion for ourselves. To me, this is the essence of the paradigm of Interbeing, as Thich Nhat Hanh calls it. I realize more and more that the paradigm shift I was so hungry for not that long ago—the paradigm shift that I’d convinced myself was a collective shift—was never that at all. I deluded myself. I do however see how highly personal, and highly individual paradigm shifts truly are.
Sixteen years ago when I met Deb, she was a meat-eating homicide detective. She asked me a question about something disturbing she’d seen after watching a documentary one weekend. I asked her a pivotal question. That question was, “Do you really want to know?” She said yes. I told her. In knowing that truth, she transformed her life. She severed the culturally conditioned ties that bound her to predation and violation. Today, she is now an outspoken voice for that truth: the truth of compassion, consciousness and interbeing. Who would have known that one question, and the conversation that ensued, would produce such a powerful outcome.
I realized then the power of conversation and the power of being myself and telling my truth. I see this repeatedly in my work today through my blog, my podcast and my book. The power of conversation. The power of vulnerability. The power of being myself. The power in being solid in my truth, even as it morphs and shifts and expands.
I know now that paradigm shifts are personal. There is indeed a ripple effect, but it’s not enough in a world where consumption, destruction, and population growth far exceed awakening. I no longer believe that I’m here to change the world (ha!). As I wrote in a recent blog post. “It was never up to me (or any of us for that matter) to change the world. It has always been up to me to change and expand my own world. By default, this inspires change in the world—just as Gandhi wisely said. With that, I can live my life fully until the end: awake, alive, and standing firmly in my truth…with grace.”
This is liberating!
For so long I clung to the hope of a transformed world. I was desperate for a world that was anything but the one we’ve collectively created. I worked my ass off, railing against an aggressive cultural machine to no avail. Things are far, far worse now than they ever were in my early years of animal and environmental activism. I clearly see how futile its all been. I now realize that my hoping for a different world all those years was little more than a form of low-grade denial—that hope was a 4-letter word…the flip side of another 4-letter word: fear. I realized how all of my years of hoping were preventing me from being fully present RIGHT NOW. I realized that hope was wishful thinking: wishing for a future outcome “out there” over which I have no agency. So I ripped mySelf off. I set aside my own agency, and the fullness of my own presence by hoping (wishing) for things to turn out differently for a collective future over which I have never had any control. How insane! One of the most empowering things I’ve done in my life is to ditch hope and embrace what I call, activated presence. Presence is elusive when hope infects the mind. As my friend, Sailesh Rao says, “Hope comes from a place of Fear and it blurs our vision. Faith comes from a place of Love and makes us clear-sighted.” I have Faith in the Earth. That is what fuels my Love. So it may be hopeless to change the world, but love doesn’t need hope anyways. Love needs presence: activated presence. What a massive paradigm shift this has been for me. So liberating…so empowering!
I feel more authentic, awake and alive than I ever have, simply by ditching hope. Liberating myself from hope has liberated me in so many ways. The impact I’m having with my work has far exceeded anything I could have ever dreamed of. And the most ironic thing about it all is that I have no attachment to outcomes anymore. If in my own ongoing awakening the words I share with others inspires their own ongoing awakening, then so be it. I’m not attached either way. I only care to share my truth with no expectations for any specific outcomes. I don’t hope for change anymore. Instead, I’m present to/for mySelf…my truth. This is fire baby!
By being committed to living, speaking and acting from my own truth; by being committed to my own ongoing evolution; and by engaging in powerful conversations (like these), how can I/we not have an impact on others? Perhaps this is the paradigm/consciousness shift I felt was happening all along.
Often we don’t know the impact we have on others when we are simply being ourSelves and telling our truths. I can tell you this: this group is leaving an imprint on my heart and I’m grateful for the collective courage to be so raw. In this collective courage, I feel more courage to expose depths of my soul previously kept to myself.
With gratitude,
Deb
Evening of Day 6 for me… I began my day before sunrise gathering with the Hula Halau at a beautiful beach on the East side of Oahu… to greet the morning sun, in a ceremony for the equinox. It was a small powerful group gathering. It was Intergenerational elders, women and children all participating in this ceremony. – such a meaningful way to begin my day. As we moved into the chant in the wide open air and slipped into the ocean with these ancient traditions, I knew myself to be at home, with my growing oahu and the lingering scents of ancient wisdom cascaded through my bones. My thoughts – This is why I am here, deep sigh, deep contentment, deep curiosity and a willingness to PLAY!!
Oh the Play – me and PLAY – those old notions of all work and no play – are so coded in my bones… with play came my next delight into waves, with the laughter, and aliveness and then I came the second blessing – I tumbled into the waves over and over, danced with the sand, more like crashed into the sand…and attempted to find some balance… just as another waves would take me off My feet for the third fall I became entangled with a Portuguese man o’ war jellyfish. Sounds a lot worse than it was and yet my legs and trunk became flushed with Fire !! Sigh… My second thought right after dancing with the “Man of War’ was you create your reality Nance, what would you like to create now – now that you’ve got your full attention!!
I went with my gut, breathed, told myself it was just sensations dancing through tissue, and I can untangle whatever this creation pulls up. I reached out – called a friend whose wisdom is steeped in Hawaiian native plants and asked for a tincture ‘mixture of herbs paste which was applied after a shower. Then it was done, no drama, just a process of knowing my body knew how to handle this experience. Breath to breath.
These creatures are the most beautiful Jellyfish beings I have ever seen. I know there are a few insights lingering as I sit with this experience. Fire in the legs – I had definite fire in the legs… safety for being here in the now.. trusting the emergence of full reclamation of Being the Whole expressing uniquely. Your words Louise so adequately highlighted in thread tonight – I know them intimately.
“I am not a unique aspect of the Whole, expressing. I AM the Whole, expressing uniquely.
I am not matter or energy; I am not form or intention, I am all of it. Where I stand along the continuum will determine how I choose to live.”
Exhausted tonight… long pauses before the words flow on to the page -eyes heavy and closing off and on… I have a willingness to stay in the game – yet deeply fatigue as I haven’t stopped. It is an old pattern ; that creeps in during this massive time of transition. Knowing the power is in the choosing… I sign off here tonight, as my body calls to the deep surrender of sleep. Mahalo