Memory Lane: Women and Rage!

In the last 18 months, many powerful women in my reality have chosen to leave this realm.  Each, in her own way, a unique expression of potential… and for some, potential unfulfilled.

Having worked with women intensely and intimately for close to 30 years, I am mindful of the Fire energy that courses through the tissue of so, so many women.  This Fire energy is often held as fear… as a reluctance or reticence to embrace a new and different course of action in the apprehension that life will get worse and even more challenging than it already is.  However, what often remains in check in those passive moments is an even deeper flow of rage… at self and other… and a sense of being trapped in our own unwillingness and/or inability to move.

Now… today!… seems as good a time as any to revisit our own internal state and discover what Fire rests in our own Soul.  This was originally published in 2017 and yet, not much has changed.  Who knows what surprises await…

Over time, I’ve come to know the depth of caring that fuels our desire to belong; to know that we matter, not because we do things but because we are willing to be ourselves.  Instinctively and intuitively, we want to connect and know that in some way, that connection contributes to our life and to the lives of others.  We want it to matter that we got out of bed this morning; that we showed up for work; and that our presence and participation bring value.  These inner yearnings are not complicated, outrageous or unattainable – they simply are not valued by and approved of by the culture.

From the great disconnect and disappointment that inevitably follows, the Fire of discontent is awakened!  Given that our intuitive road map is not making it possible for us to navigate through articulated expectations, we capitulate and we become not what we know ourselves to be but what we believe others want us to be; doing what we must to silence the inner forces that press…hard!… for their recognition.   And in that, we lay the ground for an adult life of resentment and rage.

My work with both men and woman has spanned more than 25 years.  In those years, I’ve seen the carnage of body, mind and spirit that comes from that internal force denied and silenced by all that the culture has stamped with its approval, that we might continue to do its bidding.

Women, particularly, have been the source of myriad explorations that uncovered this roiling, seething mass of unexpressed truth and unclaimed potential, often resulting in a life of addiction, depression, drugs (prescribed and otherwise) and – ultimately – self destruction.  It is not that men are not affected by these same forces.  We need only look at our world, today, to recognize the intensity of the rage that is in flow!  And for women, its expression is different   more often than not, its expression turned quietly inward to ensure its impact does not get in the way of nonetheless, being in service in our world.  As much as we can no longer do ‘good’, we seek not to do harm – at least, where it can be witnessed and inventoried!

• Begin to notice when that wave of intensity moves inside you and you choose to ignore it or press it down.  Many, many years of inner dialogue intended to silence and diminish, need not continue today.  Choose this moment to be the one that you observe and begin to make friends with your preferred process for silencing your self.   In the intimate and personal expressions of the unique being that each of us is, there is no formula for you to follow, to find yourself.  What is possible is for us to identify the inner cues that have become habituated and are intended to numb us to the sound of our own voice.  Come to know that process and be willing to come to know the genius that fuels it!
•  Once you begin to make friends with your preferred process (your personal choice for denying that inner truth) look for the intelligence behind it.  Likely, you’ll come to identify ‘safety’ – in some way – as its intention; keeping you ‘safe’ in ways long ago defined and forgotten.  Take the time to look for the underlying presuppositions of that lack of safety.. and re-assess.  Are they still valid, today?  Does your life, today, continue to demand that same level of self-denial or has your life changed?  As you bring mindfulness into the process, consider that long-ago established habits of thought and behaviour may no longer serve you.  What once was, as a child, may no longer be valid for the resourceful, adult that you’ve become.
• And finally, breathing is good!  As you reconsider your internal world and how it has been shaped, remember to relax… belly soft… shoulders down… and to breathe directly into what once before, you may have braced against!  This simple choice – to open, expand, let go and breathe! – is not intended as a technique but as the desire to recognize and honor the natural process of the Quantum Biological Human that you are!  Don’t be surprised if your life changes, in the blink of an eye and a single breath.  And yes, it really can be that easy.