I woke up this morning to this thought: half measures will never get me a whole life.
Half a marathon will never get me across the finish line.
Half a recipe will never get me a pan of brownies.
Half way will never get me to Hawaii!
Half of my attention will never get me a whole understanding.
How many times in my life have I longed for… strived for!… struggled and strained for… only to tire, lose interest, be overwhelmed, etc… and stop. In was in the stopping that I lost myself, sliding effortlessly back to where I had been. At best, I may have gained some incremental change – nowhere near what it would take for me to have a whole life!
Sometimes, it was in realizing that if I continued, I’d get where I said I wanted to go. Yikes! How terrifying is that! Particularly when getting there would mean others would not… or that all I had been in the past would not fit easily into who I was about to become. It was never the fear of my own evolution but of its perceived consequences that allowed me to ‘fail’ myself. For each of these, I had wonderful stories about how it was the ‘right’ thing for me to do for someone else. It was not right for me.
Half now and half later won’t cut it, either. By the time I get around to the second half, the first half is no longer what it was… and will never be a match for the next. Life has a way of moving on. Nothing stands still, waiting for me to make up my mind and choose mySelf.
In my lifetime of working with others – and particularly in the last few years, working with women – I am mindful of how many have longed for ‘transformation’ in their lives; and how few have been willing to do what it takes to get there. My response to that has always been a simple one:
If you say that what you want is X; and to get X, you have to do A, B and C, doing only A and B won’t get you there. It’s not good/bad, right/wrong – it’s just a fact! If you’re not willing to do A, B and C, then you have to get honest with yourself and either do what it takes to get A, B and C; or redefine X.
Not rocket science and yet, how difficult is this for so many of us!
Personally? I’m taking inventory of my half measures, knowing full well that they’re getting me the outcomes that I have. Do I like them? Do I want them? Is this how the godforce that I AM chooses to live today? If so, great! If not, it’s time to revisit X.
Sometimes, what we say we want and what we really want don’t match. Sometimes, telling ourselves the truth that lies deep within is, indeed, our greatest – and most terrifying! – Great Adventure! And yet without this, to continue the charade will only leave us pointing longingly at X and investing our lives in telling our stories about why we can only embrace A and B. And for sure, we’ll display it to ourselves in ways that will make us the protectors of others rather than own that deeper inner truth that is, inevitably, always about us.
In that waking moment, today, that simple and great truth surfaced for a reason.
Half measures will never get me a whole life. A and B will never get me X.
Time to revisit my math.
Breathing is good…