Yesterday, I had the great joy of spending time in conversation with Anne Bérubé – human being extraordinaire.
Anne and I met a long time ago and over these many years, I’ve been able to watch as she has – more and more – come into the unique expression of her own powerful presence; exploring and discovering her reason for being here… in this place/time… in both energy (intention) and form (outcome).
One of the reasons I welcome any opportunity to engage with Anne is that I know there will be no pulling back from any aspect of a conversation. One place that she and I both greatly enjoy is the moment of : “I don’t know!’ I can think of no more powerful place to be than to take ownership of not knowing AND trust that it is perfection. Anne is as interested in what I don’t know as she is in what I do. There is always such delight in being willing to not-know, together.
To me, that is the sweet spot; the place most desired, that lights up the moment I’m in. That place of not knowing and recognizing that, in that, I stand in boundlessness… in limitless potential… and have been taken there by an aspect of my own Divinity, beckoning from the ‘more’ that awaits. What I am left to ponder, is: am I up to it? Am I ready for it? Am I willing and able to not just be present to it but dive easily and deep into the uncertainty of it? If so, in that moment, my not-knowing IS my destination.
The great joy of not knowing; of not having a clue. Of never having walked this way before – this place of no-path… mapless… without prior reference to influence and shape where the next footfall will land. To find, in that, the excitement of an adventure – of body and mind – should I choose to embrace it and allow it to lead.
So much of my early years were shaped by the need to know… to be smart and informed and easily able to respond to any inquiry. Safety was accessed by having the answer. Over time, in pursuit of its rewards, I lost my sense of recognition of the perfection in all those moments that I did NOT know; and judged that not-knowing as a flaw… a glitch in the matrix of my best expression of Being. So much pressure…. Then, it never occurred to me that my not-knowing was the gift… the invitation to a gateway… that would fuel a rapid expansion of Being. Now, I have come to see through different eyes and know the depth of what awaits.
That moment – now decades ago – when I fell back on my bed in complete surrender, I was changed. In a visceral, neurological way, I was transformed. One minute, I was in despair. No more than two minutes later, I was lit up with the absolute joy of not knowing and eager to embrace the Great Adventure that it would allow for my unfolding. I would spend the decades that followed trying to figure out what happened to me; and how might I recognize and define it so that I could call on it, at will, and share it with others that they, too, might transform. Those were the days long before the science of Bruce Lipton and Nassim Haramein would help us make sense of the seemingly absurd. And here I am – some 25 years later – still delighted by, relaxed into and eager to face the next great chasm of having not a clue!
I am grateful to Anne for allowing the Space for us, both, to go from knowing (and together, we know a lot!) to not knowing… and allowing ourselves to notice the excitement that awakens when we get there! From the place of the ’now’, we can feel the pull to dive into the explorations that have no certainty… the ones that create a dynamic tension that crackles with the possibility of creation… of something completely new, without reference points, that leads to a gateway for discovery. And as much as we both may know, the door that opens emerged from the willingness to just wonder… and wander… and trust the magic of it all to unfold.
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