I begin with much appreciation for your enthusiastic willingness to be part of this journey with me. Each of you already knows that those who step into our worlds are in some way a living expression of some aspect of our own consciousness. I enter this journey with all of you with the recognition that what calls to me requires… and demands!…. that I engage a much bigger game, in some way. My experience with each of you has been of your willingness and ability to trust that… without rules or frameworks or guideposts… that which moves inside you, guides you. As I share my thoughts with you, I ask that you share that which awakens with you, about you, as you allow those thoughts to enter your unique consciousness. From there, we will simply dance together for the coming 10 days! I just felt my little heart skip a beat…..
When I sold my house in June 2015, I mindfully chose to create the Space for my Self to unfurl and reveal its wanderings for the time to come. In that, I marked out to the end of 2016 to pay particular attention to what it would mean for me to ‘retire’ or ’semi-retire’; mindful that what has been in my life for so long, no longer called to Soul. That moment; that nano-second of awareness has propelled me into a place of having not a clue. And in that, I know that I am on the path that calls.
I have lived the last 30 years of my life in the great trust that human beings could and would. I have chosen to trust that the higher-order intelligence that lives within us all, would awaken and take us into a world where giving and sourcing Life would be more appealing than taking it away. I trusted that if we had the invitation; if we were given the Space within which to unfold; if we had access to a reliable, specific process rather than just the hope or possibility, that we would engage it…. and move beyond the veil that separates us from our own godforce Creator truth. In this moment, after those 30 years, I cannot say that trust remains. As much as I continue to trust – without hesitation – that the process will take us where we need to go, I no longer trust that the Call from within can be heard by the masses. In a world shaped through collective consciousness, that leaves me troubled.
One thing that I learned long ago, is: all meaning is context dependent. Not some meaning, all of the time; or all meaning, some of the time. ALL meaning ALL of the time is context dependent. Context. The Great Crucible within which the processes of our presenting behaviours and outcomes, are held. The greater the context… the greater the Space… the more and varied ’knowing’ we are able to embrace as we consider it ALL the creation of our own lives; and together, the creation of our shared realities. So few have any thoughts about context.
Too often, invitations to know ‘context’ are so quickly dragged to the content level. And in that, Space is lost. As an example, consider all that we have come to know about so many threads in the tapestries of our lives (to name but a few):
3D printing body parts
Mind control technologies
For many, when confronted with such thoughts, they see content. When I look at all of those, I see context. Sadly, Toto, we’re not in Kansas anymore.
We can long for Kansas. We can wait for it and hope for it. We can reminisce. We can pretend that we never left Kansas. And yet, when we stop…. take a breath… and look around, the truth keeps smacking us in the face.
It hurts to think that we live in such a world. That we have created such a world. That we are capable of such creations! And yet, try as we might to look the other way and seek to redeem ourselves in the measures of our perceived greatness (advances in technology, aid packages to foreign lands, etc.), turning away changes nothing. The inevitability of a biosphere in massive flux will have its day… and its way.
To me, such a recognition is not a ‘doom and gloom’ scenario. Its reclamation and ownership opens a gateway to a very different possibility. Denial of it all however, changes nothing… and keeps us on a path to our own untimely demise.
Can you tell that I do not carry great hope for this reality? Fortunately, I live in a world of multiple realities. The question becomes: which creation will I choose for mySelf? And in having so chosen, how will I live?
One reality – the so-called ‘visible’ one – tells us that with age comes wisdom. With the passage of time comes the opportunity to learn and to experience… and from that combination comes wisdom and (presumably) a greater context from which to experience our reality. In that formula, inner truth is tied to external engagements. I do not believe any of that to be necessary. I often wonder: even though this body has only known almost-66-years of experience, am I thus doomed to only almost-66-years of wisdom? Can I not allow mySelf to speak directly and bypass the other? It would mean that I would have to allow mySelf to ‘know’ things without the benefit of any rational explanation for their knowing. And indeed, I know things.
I see things and always have. Not like images on a movie screen but more like projections on a veil, blowing in the wind. When I ’see’ those things, I know all that is connected to it and flows from it. And it shapes how I engage my world and all that moves through it.
I know things about what we call ‘history’ and about what we call ’the future’. For me, they all live in the ’now’. Knowing so fully that I am not my device; knowing that the I AM that I am is the Void and that its intelligence streams through so many spirals of the GCT, I ‘know’ the truth… the inner truth… of so many ‘realities’. What I have come to trust for mySelf is that none of them matter. What does matter is my willingness to allow myself to be informed by my Self, and simply know them all. The rest is just part of the story.
For a long time…. for close to 30 years…. I have found great personal discovery and joy and delight in sharing what I have discovered with others; in the hope that they would discover more of their Self, for themselves. That great trust made it possible for me to engage…. over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again, etc….. with so many, trusting that it would make a difference. Through that time, so many of those with whom I engaged lived lives of horrific violence and cruelty, of betrayal from those expected to protect, of hopelessness and despair. Of those vast numbers, patterns were impossible to avoid. And of those, many reclaimed their lives. For that, I am grateful to their vision, courage and determination. And yet, still, so many did so only at the Environment/Behaviour level, leaving untouched the larger context within which they held ‘realty’. And so, with the passage of time (there it is again), their lives dwindled into some version of what they had once been. The search for the ‘magic bullet’ continued, unabated by any recognition of a higher-order exploration. The fall back to the ‘real’ world would then claim its next victim.
For more than 30 years, I have tracked the other-than-‘real’-world. The world of the weird and wonderful. The world of a context for Being that makes room for us to be FUCKING MAGNIFICENT!!! The world that calls the lies and betrayals of our innate genius, exactly what they are. During that time, I have been with/listened to/watched so many as they twisted in the winds of their own external referencing, waiting for some ‘authority figure’ to give them permission to trust the truth of their inner knowing. So fascinating to me the degree to which language and its flow from the mouth of one perceived to be ‘in authority’… in the ‘official know’…. can slice through the core of our own potential and propel us to betray ourSelves. Over and over and over and over and over etc. again. Betrayed. By ourselves. Eyes slammed shut to our own inner truth. Leaving us twisting once again, in the gusts from the fowl breath of some purported authority figure. Perhaps, one day, we will find a way to trust ourselves.
Last night, I shared the following in an exchange with a friend:
“It is as if I am standing in front of a mirror; knowing that an entire world lives behind it. To touch it (that world), I need to learn how to NOT be so mesmerized by my reflection…. that I might see through. “
Seeing through what is. Seeing beyond the veil of the illusion of what is. What I know for myself, from mySelf, is that it is all its own movie… and I can either be mesmerized by watching it or I can create anew.
Where does this all take me?
I will soon be 66. As I look back, I know the requirements of a physical ‘reality’ of which I have long been a part.
* Grow up; get an education; find a mate; bear children; teach those children to grow up, get an education, find a mate, bear children…. and repeat.
* Consume! Buy stuff. Get stuff. And when required, get debt so we can buy more stuff and get more stuff…..
* Slave away! To pay for the debt that is required to get the stuff, we will need to ‘earn’ to free ourselves of the debt.
* Cycle and repeat.
Were I to peel away that layer of ‘reality’, what would I find? There was once a time when what awaited me would be half a year in Kona… the place of my creation and sustaining. In the other months, I would travel and know the great feast of the worlds of others.
I would know my sons and their creations. They fill every day of my existence with humour; sharing their worlds with me in a way that lets me into them. I am blessed.
And today, what I am mindful of is that the greatest context of all – that of Gaia and the biosphere which supports our very existence in this physical reality – is in massive, rapid and sustained chaotic expression. Not chaotic for Her.. but very much so, for us. In my decades of following these changes, there are now far more who hold that there is no turning back; and there is nothing we can do to mitigate any of it. In fact, as much as that may not be true for some, it will be true for the masses.
As an unfolding context; as a context that is revealing itself through many and varied changed perspectives, what does all this mean? What lives on the other side of the mirror, as I see past the reflection of what is? How does that translate to a life lived, from one day to the next?
At the last CODE Model Coaching™ Intensive in May, we explored ‘death’ and what it meant as a nominalization. Death as an opening instead of an ending. Death as the start of a new possibility rather than the end of an existing one. I consider death as a Great Call to more of me rather than the termination of me. A return to the Void for integration of the wisdom of having lived, that I might know living, differently. Does this call become louder/stronger/more invitational in now holding that view of death? Does/can death become simply a wise choice in the face of knowing that the current reflection in the mirror no longer compels?
Yes, there is always more that I can do/be.
Yes, I can find meaning in anything if I look for it.
Yes, I can look on the bright side; turn the other cheek; think of my children; note where the sun is shining instead of where the land is flooding and people are ‘dying’.
In truth, I have no interest in any of that. Why? Because I know something lives behind the veil; and its call intensifies.
For now, that is where the I AM that I am, lives.
It is not good/bad, right/wrong – it simply is.