Sometimes, I miss having someone else to blame for the state of my body… of my life.
I lament the ‘good ole days’ of believing – heart and soul – that the world ‘out there’ was doing things to me… that other people were doing things to me… and that I was a righteous and legitimate victim of my circumstances.
There are moments when I long for it to be up to someone else to stop doing something so that I can start to do something; or for someone else to start doing something so that I can stop! There was great satisfaction in knowing that if my life wasn’t working it was because someone else hadn’t gotten it ‘right’, yet!
Today, when I am lucid and present and awake and connected, I know better. I know I create my world and everything in it. I know that I call up into expression all that I require to discover and connect to more of the godforce that I am in a physical world. I know that every single person, event or experience presents as some aspect of my own consciousness as an invitation for me to notice something about myself… and let go.
Let go of my story. Let go of what I hold to be fair/unfair, just/unjust, right/wrong. Let go of being at the mercy of, a victim to and being helpless to change it myself. Let go of my righteous rage; my justifiable absence from the design of my own life; and from my unwillingness to act/live/be without permission and without invitation from someone/something outside myself.
My life is mine to live… to create.. and to innovate. It is mine to design, rife with twists and turns, soft curves and sharp corners, with spaces small enough to suffocate me and vast enough for me to lose myself in! And through it all, nonetheless, mine.
Today has been an extremely busy, busy day. From the time I got up until this moment, my day has been filled with a wide variety of conversations and connections. If I were still who I once was, I would be wondering: what’s good/bad, right/wrong about or with all those people??? But I am not who I once was – I AM the One … the only one… who can make a difference in my life. In that, I take a breath.. and I pause.. and I wonder: what aspect of my own consciousness is each of these people? I stand in a deep and unshakeable awareness of the godforce that I am and I ask: how does the godforce that I AM choose to live today?
In that, I take my next breath… I invite and allow… and I move forward into what is indeed, a life of my own design. Life is good!
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