I am so mindful of reactions to and language around those moments when women are perceived to be less than ‘patient’ and ‘understanding’ and ‘caring’. What exactly does that mean?
In a recent chat with a friend and colleague, the thought that kept coming into my awareness was about ‘patience is a virtue’… leading me to wonder: when does a virtue become a vice?
Personally? I think some of these saintly, woman-ly values have become the very ties that have bound women for decades – and caused us to put duct tape over our own mouths.
Much of the conversation that recently took place with a small gathering of women, talking… circled these ideas in ways that were open, clear, honest and direct – in a context of RIG – and very directly challenged the underpinnings of what is ‘good’ and ‘kind’ and ‘just’ and ‘desirable’. I was reminded of when I was growing up and the degree to which those moments of my own unwillingness to roll over and play dead; my insistence that my own voice also be heard; my determination to stay present to what was meaningful for me was termed ‘stubborn’ and ‘pushy’… and the degree to which so much of this was associated with my being ‘difficult’ or ‘uncooperative’; being ‘butch’ or ‘unfeminine’; being ‘selfish’ and ‘not a team player’.
What better way to silence me than to ensure I ultimately choose to silence myself rather than live as a social outcast or one so unattractive/undesirable and offensive to others.
I believe I can be open, clear, honest and direct; I can be present and fully engaged in a meaningful way for myself, in ways that are expressed in a context of RIG. AND, having said that, my voice will be definite! It will be strong and clear and most audible! It will have edges when the requirement is to carve out a life worth living. And it will reflect the godforce that I AM in every breath.
I invite and expect nothing less from you.
Perhaps we are far too long overdue for an overhaul of the terms that have come to be associated with ‘virtuous’ and ‘desirable’ in the evolution of women. We may well awaken to a recognition that what we once worked so hard to achieve are, in fact, the evidence of the very ties that bind.
Breathing is good….
Oh Louise, how I rumble inside. These words are so invasive as I sit here and ponder all that is said. As you know my personal journey through the car business was exactly that, calm down, don’t get so excited, bitchy, oh yea, you must have balls that’s why you hide them with a shirt, etc etc. Oh my, and now, going into this new opportunity into the world of male domination without any fear. I am so excited because the only person that can keep me quiet is ME. And we know that is not going to happen as I express myself as the Awakened Presence that I am. I will speak my truth, clearly, openly, directly and honestly with respect and integrity. What a powerful place to stand in myself, respecting myself and the vast knowledge that I have to share. Thank you for your wisdom and willingness to guide me back to myself. And allowing me to sing into the new voice that I AM. With much respect and admiration, I will sing my song to share with those that are willing to listen.
Linda, I read your words and once again, am reminded why it is so vital for me… for us all!… to keep moving forward with a WEL-Systems® approach to life-altering change. Far more than an experience that ‘solves a problem’ or ‘fixes what we think is broken’, WEL-Systems offers a body of knowledge that allows each of us to become self-sustaining (Self sustaining) without the need for guides, coaches, gurus, masters, teachers, etc.
You now stand in such a powerful place! I am filled with such joy to know that you have rediscovered and reclaimed the Awakened Presence that you are, and are living accordingly. In that Awakened Presence, the power of contagion that you are – as a thought virus – will have a profound impact.
Wow! Thanks for this! Sharing your thought has made wave after wave of goosebumps come alive! You are living proof of what’s possible for us all!
Hugs
Thank you for this Louise. I am just beginning to aquire some of the skills (or unlearn some of the old crap) that truly held me in a bind with most that I came in contact with. I am finding myself saying much more what I want and/or can accept.
I’m not aware of when, how or why I learned to be such a good, compliant, make everyone happy girl, but I am eagerly ready to give her up. It feels sooooo good to hear something come out of my mouth that isn’t altered or checked in some way (by me) to make someone feel better, look better, not look like they really are or that makes me look not so smart or just to make sure someone doesn’t feel rude when they have been!!! Aarrggghhhh!!! Yup, DONE. And…. it’s so much easier than the old way. That was work and exhausting.
I am powerful and it feels good. Thank you Louise.