Tomorrow, I head for Toronto for a matinee, dinner with wonderful friends, a stay in a 5-star hotel…. and the pause that will allow me to leave my existing thoughts behind.
It’s not that they’re not good thoughts or useful thoughts or even greatly beneficial thoughts, it’s that they are thoughts of a kind that have shaped my world and yet have, in some way, forgotten some part of me. In my way of moving through my world, clarity comes from the body and the body leads. For some reason and in some way, I need to just stop…. and let go.
Lives changing all around me. Conversations with those who have held their lives as hopeless, now finding a new place to stand. Experiences held as impossible transformed in two hours or less. At times, I stand on the sidelines and watch at the magic of it all and think to myself: “That’s not right! ”
It’s not right that women should have to live with hopelessness and despair for two and a half decades when it can be resolved in two and a half hours.
It’s not right that women should carry forward from childhood the legacy of parenting gone bad when their lives can be redefined in a matter of days. After all, parenting is indeed, the gift that keeps on giving.
It’s not right that the fear of letting go should be as great as the fear of holding on…. leaving only the nano-space along the edge of the sword on which to try to live a full and meaningful life. Only in the exhalation will that space expand that we might find safety in standing in the truth of who we might become.
In the last few days, one of the amazing women in my life has been greatly challenged by what has unfolded on the home front. Far more than courage (and it takes lots of that!), it takes an unshakeable trust in your inner truth to stand alone in the face of the storm that brews on the horizon of parenting challenged. In those moments, we can allow the events to define us; or we can discover how these same events are the invitation for us to grow into the full expression of our own ‘imagine!’. In that single moment, we discover what we’re made of!
And so, I am ready for the pause. I am ready to allow myself to be carried by the moment of doing nothing… and just being. I can hear it now: the sound of my silence, the sound of my not having a single and beneficial thought, and the sound of the relentless pursuit of my own solitude.
In the pause… in the space between the breaths… is where I’ll find myself.
Breathing is good…