When I sold my house in the summer of 2015, little did I know that I was letting go of ‘ownership’ of so much of the familiar in my life.
I gave myself to the end of 2016 to explore, discover and consider what ‘retirement’ might mean for me. That concept (for me, from the French ’se retirer’ – meaning, to remove myself; to pull myself away from or out of) allowed me to step back…. creating the space within which my perspective might begin to unpack itself; might begin to flow, and shift, and reform…allowing myself to begin to notice the larger context within which my life could continue to unfold.
By the end of 2016, I knew: it was time to let go.
Time to let go of what had shaped my life for more than 30 years.
Time to let go of the need to own anything.
Time to invite and encourage others to engage as they would/could see fit.
Time to trust that if it is meant to be, it will be.
Such letting go has demanded of me that I pause… and take the time to identify what really matters to me; what brings joy into my life. This process has made it possible for me to identify the pieces of a very large puzzle that I continue to hold as precious – and to find a way to ensure, to the best of my ability, that they continue to have life. And now I can see: same pieces, different and bigger puzzle.
Letting go has also opened up new Space for me to consider what holds meaning for me as I continue to embrace fully and move forward in my life. That has required that I redirect my attention to my own evolution, once again, as a priority in my life. And this time, that process of evolution feels very different to me.
What does that mean? I’m not yet really sure. What I am sure of is that it unfolds, from one moment to the next. Sometimes, seeking the company of others and much of the time, settling quietly into the soft and inviting inner cues that are teaching me to not only look elsewhere but to soften my gaze, that I might see differently.
For me, the essentials are a given: having learned to live as a Quantum Biological Human, I trust the body to lead. And now that this trust is so deeply grooved I would not know how to live any other way, I need only follow as that intuitive, language-free intelligence guides me along a new path.
The pause has been a long one in my life and yet, a nano-second in the great passage of time.
The redirect allows me to continue to let go and focus only on what attracts my attention, in the moment. No master plan. No future goals. No requirement for outcomes or success. Just the moment… and what it calls into my awareness.
The climate… and what it calls into my awareness of its presence as a reflection of the level of our own individual and collective evolution of consciousness. I watch what unfolds and I know that it can only be so because WE are that, in our daily lives. The chaos we see ‘out there’ is sourced from the chaos we are living ‘in here’.
The cultural/global coma…. and the illusion that anything will change from the outside – from some authority, somewhere, with an answer for our collective ills. And while we focus on that… and hope and trust for that…. we ignore ourselves. And the slide continues.
The climate (the Great Outside) can only exist because each of us…. me… I…. is a part of a much greater whole that makes it so. As we allow ourselves to be distracted by it all; as we allow ourselves to be taken hostage by our fear about it all, we surrender the one Force that could make a difference: the truth of who and what we are.
Recently, I was ‘diagnosed’ with supposed calcified lymph nodes. The harbinger of this news tried very hard to hide his concern. I assured him there was no concern on my part – only the recognition of intelligence/information seeking to attract my attention. As in all things, I defer to The CODE Model™, of which I am a living expression. From that perspective, these two lymph nodes represent to me that which is nagging at me at this time in my life:
* am I willing to continue to speak that which I have spoken for so long (ie. the past)?; and
* will what I desire to speak(the future), matter – whether spoken or not?
Two calcified (i.e. frozen) possibilities – each waiting for me to choose. And already, they have become smaller and are ‘moving’ as I allow this truth to flood the larger system from the I AM that I am. In that, there is no fear – only curiosity and my willingness to consider what it might reveal.
I know that, that which enlivens me will, for many, be disturbing. And so it goes.
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