How can I tell?

Seems that when the Spirit moves, so do the fingers……

There are two things that occupy much of my Life these days:

• my family
• my willingness and ability to choose meaningfully and mindfully.

The first – my family – is an easy one. I spent decades away from my family, doing the things that ‘had to be done’ to make life manageable. In far too many ways, my sons grew up without me, often in the care of daycare and school teachers while I spent my day doing something that did not include them. There were many times when I travelled and was gone for multi-days at a time, several times a year. That was tough… and I know it was a lot tougher for them.

Now, given that I have chosen ‘retirement’, I am exploring what a different schedule/lifestyle might be. I have chosen to ‘retire’ from … pull myself back from… obligations, requirements, schedules, etc. I continue to choose meaningful conversations, engaging with those for whom the depth of their intentions is evident through their willingness to take on the ‘tough stuff’. These things have always been ‘fun’ for me, even when the intensity and density of the moment might feel like the brink of death. Clearly, it never has been that because we’re all still here.

Now, my children and the things that matter to them, in their lives; and my precious little Grandson are the core of all that is relevant in making my choices. And that leads me to the second thing….

Willingness and abilty to choose meaningfully and mindfully. As we face into the moments that present… face into the surreal expressions of a world I no longer recognize as the one of my past; a world where surreal is predicated on our deep lack of understanding of exponential change…. choosing could mean the difference between whether I live or die. Such are the stakes in this game of our existence that we call ‘climate change’. It is not coming – it is here and we are just starting to be formally introduced.

I, for one, long ago let go of the whole debate/discussion/argument around climate change. I tire quickly and easily in discussions of the obvious. In that moment of my own awareness, I realized that the discussion is absurd. Whatever cloak it is wearing in the moment – the cloak of needing to educate and inform others; the cloak of convincing the people I love and care about; the cloak of analysis and logic and its inevitable conclusions – none of these any longer held sway in my life. And as offensive as this might be to some: the conversation is boring. It’s over. A done deal. And there are far more compelling and life-expanding conversations to be had!

For me, that conversation is about recognizing the essential for evolution of Self – individually and collectively. I see our shared reality/world/climate as a reflection back to us of the state of our collective consciousness. Collectively, we are manifesting what we are experiencing – and nothing will change in that experience until we change and manifest something else. Only then, will matter be able to catch up to our own great intention, expressed from a much deeper part of our Being.

The unfortunate part is that collective manifestation is the byproduct of many individual manifestations… and the individual still holds all the cards.

The evolution of the individual is critical. Waking up to that which lies through and beyond the coma of our histories. Waking up to the nagging inner truth we have long known and ignored… hoping someone else would kiss it and make it better. Not happening and- in this moment of my own evolution – is not going to happen.

The long, hard, arduous, often painful, irritating, bloating, debilitating, tears-and-snot-inducing journey of our own reclamation awaits! It is often unbearable to undertake… to move that first foot forward… and without it, our increasingly-unbearable world will overtake us.

I look at the images of climate change from around the world and what I notice is the incredible power of the collective force that we already are! The question is: are we… am I… awake or asleep as I manifest? It’s an important line of enquiry since I am not ever NOT manifesting! And if I’m asleep…and I’m pulling that kind of power into my creations… what I need to know is: BUCKLE UP! It’s going to be a bumpy ride into our own demise.

I leave you with these questions to ask of yourself:

• Am I awake or am I asleep when I choose? How can I tell?
• Am I choosing from habit and the past or am I choosing from the moment I am in? How can I tell?
• Do I care about anything beyond my own immediate needs and comforts? How can I tell?

There are many other questions and for now, three is enough. I know how hard it is for us to stay focused longer than that. Thank you, cultural conditioning, for that gift of the short attention span that keeps on giving from one generation to the next. It seems that when we get to four, the pain starts to seep through our defences and we look for a way out.  Don’t do that, this time.

And remember: breathing is good….