Do No Harm

5:00 am and the message from the birds is clear: my day has begun.

I stand and breathe in my morning; expansive view of the Gatineau Hills from my 8th floor window; observing the rising sun just out of my line of sight, yet evidence of its movement fills the morning sky with those soft pink and grey hues that mark the start of another day. The unusual moment of a cloudless sky. Soft breeze coming in through the window. Birds in the trees of the courtyard below and in flight. Barely a sound, as traffic is still at a trickle.

My first cup of coffee. There is something mesmerizing about watching the cream dive to the bottom of the cup and rise into a new design, each time. Swirling. Folding into the darkness of the brew, curling in on itself….. bringing a warmth beyond the heat in the cup.

In the midst of a world that is already speeding to its undefined edge and still, continues to accelerate, I find myself in stillness. I am reminded of those moments in the movies when all is a rushing blur and yet, one stands still in the midst of it; the only spot of colour in a grey and monochromatic world. In this moment, I am that splash of colour in my own world.

I will soon turn 67. I have lived long enough to bear witness to cycles repeating…. repeatedly! Long enough to watch purported ’truth’ come and go; to see the lauded work of today’s expert become the discredited after-thought of tomorrow’s renewed scrutiny; to participate in and ultimately, watch as struggle leads the way in a battle to be right…. to know… to be sure… when its likelihood is far from any simple or absolute determination. In the midst of chaotic uncertainty, it is becoming more challenging to find the map, let alone where X marks the spot we so desperately seek.

Looking for some kind of touchstone of ‘reality’…. some semblance of a meaningful path to follow; of a collective, cohesive framework that will also nurture individual desire. So far, from what I can tell, none is to be found.

I am coming to conclude that I am here – am alive and conscious at this place/time – for one reason only: to know what it is to be awake. That is the truth of my experience. Only you can know the truth of yours. Beyond that, none of it matters.

Whether the climate changes or not, is irrelevant. It is not the climate that needs to change – it is I who needs to change.

In my moments of being awake, one truth carries me through my day: first, do no harm. Do no harm to myself. Do no harm to any another. Do no harm to the place and space I occupy. And when there is conflict in that… when I am unsure how to proceed… do nothing, until I know.

I am in the masses that move around me – and I am not of the masses.

The experts fight to be right…. to stake a claim on the minds of the many… and I am not of either.

I am discovering that in my desire to explore the truth of others in the search for the right one, I am distracted from the truth I carry… the one that emerges from within. This leaves me suspended in the morass of the unwillingness to act on my own truth. And mine is a simple one: first, do no harm.

So many layers make up the fabric not just of our existence but of our ability to exist. The fundamentals of the air we breathe, the water we drink, the food we eat. At the very least, it is evident that these have been profoundly and irreversibly compromised and, as such, so has our ability to exist. One need not be a genius to figure that one out.

From those basic and essential needs – requisite to my being able to live another day – to the ‘other’ that surrounds me: family, friends, colleagues, community, culture, etc . As I age, I am less and less governed by them and more and more drawn to the deepest layers of these expressions. I engage where there is mutual RIG (respect, integrity and generosity of Spirit) – and I do not, where these are absent.

In that, joy and laughter; authenticity; honesty; acceptance. These become the threads of the tapestry of my chosen existence. And when I am challenged to live in my world of ‘do no harm’, I move away….. let go…. invite and allow… and claim what is mine to discover, about myself.

There is nothing out there that will feed the stillness, in here. That is a nurturing that can only come from emanating rather than absorbing. A nurturing that is created by… manufactured by… that which moves inside me as the ever-changing shape of my being. Without that, I am a sponge, designed for absorption and always at the mercy of what surrounds me; seeking other in order to find purpose in my existence.

Do no harm. I am moving away from the consumption of harm. Moving away from eating the foods; buying the ’stuff’; engaging in the activities that ultimately, at some level, have done harm in order for me to have access to the final byproduct. I pause…and I wonder, as I consider consumption: who will have paid the price for me to have this…. do this… be this? And often, I walk away.

In my imperfection, not a day goes by that I can say I have lived fully, completely and unquestioningly without doing harm. It has taken me a long time to get here… and it is a path I choose to walk. I don’t know what path you walk. And in truth, there is not much I can do about your path and little you can do about mine. What I can do is be clear within myself about my own, and walk it. My life unfolding, is in the walking.

I sometimes imagine that every person I know, chooses to do no harm. And then, I imagine that every person I am connected with… directly or indirectly… chooses to do no harm. And then, I imagine a world in which every human being chooses a path of do no harm. And in that – finally! – change comes.

I have enormous RIG for Guy McPherson. Not because he is or is not right, but because he dares to carve out his own path. Because he continues, speaking and sharing and engaging… even when there is so much evidence that as a group, we are incapable of hearing. Clearly, it is not the group that he seeks to engage but the one who is able and willing to engage, in return. Not engage him – engage him/herself. Without that, it is all just so much rhetoric.

Such is the freedom of this space, for me. I can write as it moves within me. You can read or not. Seems like perfection, to me. Perhaps that is what our lives not only have become but have always been meant to be. In the vast expanse of our history as a species; and given the creations that we have lived, the outcomes of good/bad, right/wrong can be counted on both sides. What is less evident is that which we can point to and say: we have done no harm.

When your life is worth less than mine, it is inevitable that harm will be done. That cannot continue – and it will be our demise.