Having just spent almost two weeks at Oceanstone, I am filled with the mixed feelings of leaving there and being here. As much as I am soothed by being welcomed into this village of consideration and support; by the beauty of days at the edge of the Atlantic… sun gleaming off the water, winds blowing through the trees…. I am also soothed by being home with my family. I am noticing that my desire to be away is now more readily gratified by frequent and shorter trips.
My time at Oceanstone was first with a group of (yet again) incredible women in the ‘Whispers from Within: Women’s Writing Retreat’, as well as a couple of days in conversation with a small, corporate community. As different as these two frameworks were, the content is always the same: it’s about being authentic and present to the truth of our own experience.
During this time, someone asked me what I thought were the most important things for a powerful life. What came to mind for me was: tell the truth (not as an absolute but the truth of your experience), say ‘no’ when that’s what feels right and ask for what you want. How difficult can that be? Plenty! Such simple things and yet such huge turmoil around living them!
Throughout our days of conversation that included just those things (tell the truth, etc), I noticed that I would frequently hear the comment of how ‘intense’ this process was… of how much ‘intensity’ there was in this five-day retreat. After repeated expressions of this notion, I took the opportunity to step directly into the ‘intensity’ conversation and take a look at what was really going on.
In fact, it was not complicated or complex. What we were doing was having conversations that were NOT the usual habituated drivel that fills our day… the kind of conversations that are about the weather, about last night’s sports scores, about a new restaurant, etc. Our days were filled with conversations that required that we show up for our own lives; that we stay awake and that we engage. They demanded that we pay attention to what was being said, not only outside of us but inside of us. And there were constant invitations for us to check in with what was real for us, true for us and meaningful for us.
We encouraged and were encouraged to take all the time and space that we needed to say what was on our minds and in our hearts. We sat quietly until someone finished what they had to say. We gave neither advice nor did we take responsibility for someone else’s problem, challenge or uncertainty. We had few answers and many enormous questions! We told the truth, as it existed for each of us; we said ‘no’ to what we were unwilling to engage and we asked for what we wanted. And when the tears flowed, we sat and were present as that wave of new life moved through and envlivened us all.
Every day became an invitation to discover more about ourselves through our connection with each other – right then and there, in the moment that we were in – and not put off or put aside the things that pressed up against us inside ourselves for the easier and more convenient story about someone else. We left out stories behind and in their place, became open to who else we might discover ourselves to be.
Through it all, what kept coming to mind for me is that this was about ‘authenticism’. It was not about ‘feminism’ or ‘not masculine-ism’ – but was about being willing to be seen and heard for the truth of who we are/were in that moment. One breath to the next.
Perhaps we live in a world that is starved for AUTHENTICISM! Women and men – being authentic in their thoughts, conversations, expressions; being present and whole; being willing to engage without having to know where it will all end up. We are all too familiar with the culture of pretense, external referencing and approved expectations. It is the culture that has given us what we have today. It may well be that the time has come for the wave of ‘authenticism’ – the Authenticism Movement! – to come into our awareness.
Prepare for intense! Prepare for what it feels like to be alive, present and engaged in the living of our own lives! That is what ‘authenticism’ brings into our lives. The alternative to all of this – to this ‘intensity’ – is a life of habituation, repetition and nibbles at the edges of our own potential.
I, for one, am ready for the full meal deal!
Breathing is good…..
Leave a Reply