Being In-Different

As my world continues to unfold, moment-to-moment in an Emerging Future, I am beginning to notice something about myself.

I care deeply and passionately.

I live my life from RIGing – for myself and others.

I am indifferent.

Hmmm…. I wonder out loud… how do all those fit together?

I am in-different. I don’t need to be the same as you or have you be the same as me.

I RIG in-difference. I don’t need to convince you or have you convince me.

I am devoted to the fine art of letting go. My greatest gift to you… my deepest and most respectful offering to you… is to hold sacred the choices you make for yourself.. and let go. I live in-difference with you.

We are not the same. We are not supposed to be the same! I am supposed to me – and you are supposed to be you. Without my capacity to live in-difference with you, I am left with judging you and condemning you, or making myself like you. Neither of those appeals to me.

It’s not nice to be indifferent. In our world, ‘indifferent’ means I don’t care. Paradox is : I care enough to live in that in-difference with you. I am comfortable… at ease… in being with you and not being of you. That you agree or disagree with my choices or way of being is of no consequence to or for me. What matters most is to be in wholeness to mySelf.

More and more, my life is an Emerging Future unfolding. When my day comes to an end and I close my eyes, I have no idea who I will be when they open again! I have no idea what dreams will invite consideration of a new world; or what random shadow will awaken in me a powerful metaphor for living! I only know that for me, there is no other way for me to ‘be’ – and be fully mySelf.

Today, I read Lisa’s blog on Warrior Me. How I do RIG that woman! In her words, I am transported back to a time, oh-so-long-ago, when I knew no other way to be. Everything was a wrong to be ‘righted’ or a cause to be taken on. The easiest ones for me to get swallowed up by were the ones in defense of someone else; or railing against something on behalf of someone else. What about me, you ask? I wasn’t there. I was just ‘doing’ what I knew best how to do, guided and shaped by the needs, interests and guidelines of others.

In those days, I had no idea how to live in-difference. I had no idea how to just watch, from that place of soft, silent emptyness inside myself, and do nothing. If I found myself in a conversation, it must mean that I had to take up the cause – one way or another! Thank you, Lisa, for helping me to remind myself of my own journey. In your moment of peace, I am reminded of my own.

I welcome and embrace and relish and cherish and luxuriate in my capacity for in-difference… for my ability to listen and not engage… and to still be willing to listen another time. In my claimed in-difference, I am welcoming of any contact, of any conversation, knowing that I will not be ‘dragged’ into anything. What freedom that brings to engage! I am not afraid of intimate, face-to-face contact because it holds no sway over the choices I make for mySelf. I can be there – 100% – and I can choose to move on – without commitment, without obligation and without any sense of lingering ‘guilt’.

In-difference is, for me, an expression of RIGing others. You be you, I’ll be me and the world will unfold.

Breathing is good….