Embracing Futility

Recently, I made the decision to make the 20-CD ‘Decloaking and Living Authentically’ audio material (recorded live from a 5-day intensive) available to a general audience. I did that, after much consideration, because I believe we need to do much more than change what we do or how we think. We need to redefine WHAT we believe ourselves to be.

The educational aspect of  the ‘Decloaking’ material is – as far as I’m concerned – THE most important factor. Throughout the 5-day experience, ‘catharsis’ is a given – and yet, power does not lie in the cathartic moment but in recognizing it only as a tool to redirect attention to a different paradigm for understanding that very catharsis. Without that new framework, we remain locked in to a very limited expression of being ‘human’ – caught in the loop of our own commitment to the value of the drama. Our culturally-conditioned expectation is to experience intensity/drama; and to believe THAT to be what we are seeking. In the truth of my experience, the intensity is a signal (hopefully, able to become a trigger) to relax into it….. focus on breathing…. let go… and allow the body to lead.  There is no intrinsic value in catharsis, itself.

For me, it’s all about metaphors; about the way the intelligence of the body seeks to provide information that will allow for an awakening at a much higher order of expression of that Being of Light, through tissue, into a physical world.

Consider the deer as a metaphor. For those times when we witness the stalking of one we hold as less powerful, by one we hold as more powerful… and dangerous. Consider the remains as the vestiges of battles lost; of moments of being blind-sided by that stalker and left helpless and depleted by that encounter.

Consider those much earlier times in your life when you were helpless to do anything other than bear witness to this power imbalance in your own world; witnessing the remnants of those encounters, once completed. Bearing witness to countless assaults of body and mind, knowing the full rage of the need for something to be done…. and knowing fully,  you were able to do nothing.

These are the deeper ‘knowings’ we all carry in tissue. Know that they are not about the content.  They are vestiges of awarenesses from long ago; perceptions from time/place.  As we recognize them for the intelligence they are… freeing themselves in the open and welcoming device of our own body… the body will stabilize and we will know things we could not ever have known, otherwise.

The deer…. those ‘doe eyed’, gentle, vulnerable creations of the beautiful faces and soft bodies… is an apt symbol/metaphor/representation of that which is essentially harmless (i.e. without resources) and without-harm (i.e. no intention/desire/ability to seek to do harm to another).  It is a powerful metaphor for all those times/places when we were awakened to such deep and boundless empathy and compassion for those moments in our own lives – recognizing,  we could do nothing.

It is a rude awakening to discover that we cannot – are simply not able to – ‘right’ every wrong in our world. We are powerless to wave a hand and stop human trafficking; to prevent wars and the carnage they bring to so many, as both victim and perpetrator; to feed all those who hunger and thirst. And on and on it goes. In the courageous act of owning such powerlessness and vulnerability, ask yourself this one, simple question: “What’s important to me about being alive?”  Allow that raw and stark enquiry to rumble around for a while and see where it goes. Following that lead can take us somewhere meaningful.

At this time in my life, I know that what is important to me about being alive is to unfold the truth of my Being. Without that, I ‘am’ nothing but an imaginary representation of who I might become. Without substance. Without impact. Without the simple gratification, at the end of my day, of knowing that I have been true to the I AM that I am here to discover and express.