Work-in-progress

I am a work-in-progress….perhaps more now than ever before. Even I am surprised by what flows in and out of my thoughts, and the degree to which I am different from one day to the next.

I am surprised by my own impatience – eager to get on with it!

I am excited by my sense of what the future holds – for me and for others.

I am sometimes fearful – and most times, hopeful – of the powerful beings that we are and what we might create.

I am drawn to meaning, seeking it in all things, all places, all people; in all conversations and experiences; watching and listening for it in every seemingly random act I engage in.

In all things, my future emerges. The question is never whether or not it’s present. The question always is: am I paying attention sufficiently to notice? It does not pass me by. When I choose to look away to what is more familiar to me, it does not leave me. It finds another way to slide into my awareness – invitation to choose again.

The big changes in my life are already in flow, long put in motion and with intended outcomes now peeking out from behind the effects of my own long-held habits.

That restlessness has been growing for more than a year. Begun in January 2006 (having awakened one morning to find it just sitting there… vibrating… somewhere in my chest) and followed by so many new discoveries, the lull of the past few months is giving way to the urge to engage. I can tell what to pursue and what to let go of by the vibration in my own body. When it is there, it is a signal to me to engage. When it is nowhere to be sensed, it is my signal to let go and move on. Even in its absence, its message is unquestionable.

I’m not used to that… to the notion of unquestionable. There is nothing in my life that I don’t question. And yet, for whatever reason, I am clear that the ‘me’ that I am in this physical world trusts easily and completely the ‘ME’ that is calling to my attention.

In the near future, it will be time for me to write of Evolution by Intention and Emerging Futures and how they are connected. They are the front and back of the same hand. When I am willing to relax into one, the other simply becomes. There is no effort. There is no struggle. And, as Yoda would say, there is no ‘try’ – there is only ‘do or not do’. I choose to do.

I feel others around me waking up. My life has been fed by my desire to share with others the process of awakening. It has never been my interest or intention to impose what it is that they awaken to. That is the domain of the single soul and its expression in this world. And I am clear that I know well the process of awakening. So many talk of it and long for it and yet, never find it. So many talk of awakening while they stumble around in the dark. Today, in conversation with a colleague and friend, I was again reminded of the distinction between conversations about awakening, and the experience of being awake. They are not the same.

And so, one more day goes by and I find myself more present than the last. Today, in conversation with the Mauna Lani, it struck me: this is real! On the holodeck of my experience, April will be felt through Huna in Hawaii. Wow…and this is my life. Who would have thought?

Breathing is good…..