Every time I find myself writing about, speaking about or facilitating a conversation on ‘ways to improve your life’, I am reminded that this has been my life for more than 25 years. What an honor it is to be invited into the lives of so many who are seeking to find or to redefine themselves. In what becomes the Sacred Space of a shared enquiry, and as we discover just the right process to mid-wife new beginnings into their lives, my own life is magically transformed. So here I sit, thinking to myself: what can I share with you that can make a difference in your life – just from reading an article. What will make it easier for you to manifest a meaningful life for yourself? After all, isn’t that what we’re looking for?
Transformation – although far too often over-promised and under-delivered! – is what my clients are looking for. Not incremental change; not small adjustments and little twists on the status quo, but those huge and irreversible changes to the way they move through the world. Our greatest invitation is to be able to free ourselves from our own limitations and experience the full potential of who we know, deep down inside, we truly are.
This magnitude and depth of change need not be difficult. Nor does it have to take a long time! What I’ve discovered for myself is what I choose to share with you to support you along your journey of personal evolution. But don’t take my word for it. Try it on and see how it fits in your life.
- Trust your body!
Your body never lies. Unlike what many of us have been taught to believe, not only is your body not the enemy, it is in fact the gateway to the transformation that we seek. Far more powerful than any process of the intellect, your body is the quantum biological processor that creates all the feelings/emotions that shape the experience of your life – and since it created them, it knows exactly what to do with them. All we need to do is surrender the intellect to the body and let the body lead. Our greatest challenge is getting out of our own way!
Science now tells us that your body is a quantum biological instrument of immense capability. It is not ‘like’ a bioprocessor – it -IS” a bioprocessor and breathing is what makes it possible for it to do its best work. Begin by paying attention to your breathing and notice when you hold your breath. In that moment, just stop….close your eyes…and take three or four long, slow, deep breaths. If you extend the exhale so that it is twice as long as the inhale, you’ll go a long way to creating a deep state of relaxation in the body. In that state, you cannot feel fear – and when we are unafraid, we are more willing and able to consider new information and new experiences.
- Follow the Impulse!
The next time your body ‘feels’ something, instead of trying to shut down or move away from that sensation/impulse, breathe; relax your body; and choose to move into the sensation rather than away from it. Keeping your body open and relaxed, allow the sensation to begin to flow and to fill your body, all the time focusing your attention on keeping your body open and relax. You pay attention to your body and your body will pay attention to the energy/information that is moving. What you’ve been taught to call ’emotions’ are really waves of energy/information trying to be metabolized (like your lunch) in the quantum biological processor that your body is, so that you can get on with your life! With the integration of each wave of information come insights and discoveries. Life changes – quickly, easily, effortlessly – and there is no going back.
- Tell the truth!
Even if you never say it out loud to another soul, tell yourself the truth – inside you, where you live. Allow yourself to know the truth of your own experience. We lie to ourselves all the time and tell ourselves that something doesn’t matter, when it does; that we’re willing to do something when we’re not; or that we want something when we don’t . When we allow ourselves to claim the truth of our own experience, something powerful happens inside of us and in that moment, we discover more of our own potential. Yet consider, as much as you need never tell another soul, remember this: Telling yourself the truth is an act of courage. Telling your truth out loud to another human being is an act of transformation.
- Stay in the tough conversations!
The toughest conversation you’ll ever have to stay in is the one with yourself. When you consider that there are only two things going on in the world – the conversations you have with yourself, and the conversations you have with another human being (i.e. chats, email, reports, etc); and when you consider that you can’t change the one you have with another person unless and until you’re both willing and able to change the one you have with yourself, staying in that tough conversation with YOU will determine the quality of your life! It will also determine your capacity for intimacy and connection to another human being because if you can’t stay connected to you in a meaningful way, how can you ever connect to someone else in a meaningful way?
- Be willing to stand alone!
That doesn’t mean that you’ll have to stand alone, you just need to know that if push comes to shove and you have to, you’re both willing and able to do so. Far too often in life we go along just to get along, We compromise ourselves because we think that if we really let others see who we are, they’ll move away from us. And yet, when we do that, we end up not liking ourselves much and have already moved away from ourselves. When we become both willing (a choice) and able (see the previous four points) to stand alone, we discover as we look around that there are many others who seek the same quality of life. These folks indeed, make great playmates!
As you engage your life in this way, you’ll begin to discover that you are much more than you ever dreamed possible – and it all comes from discovering that your body is not the enemy. You can relax into and trust your body to gently guide you home.